Unfit
by LD 1449
Summary: She should have died. She should have died in that bed, bleeding and screaming. Should have died with Minato.
1. Prologue

_**Prologue**_ :

She tried to stop his crying.

Why hadn't he stopped crying?

She hadn't wanted to do what she did. She hadn't even realized she'd been doing it.

If…

If they… if _Kakashi _had just been seconds too slow… just seconds too slow...

Her hands trembled, she felt bile burning at the back of her throat, tears stinging her eyes as thin razor blades of pain sliced through and across her chest.

Minato was gone. The village was in tatters, all of her friends, her so called family leaving in every which direction in the wake of the Kyuubi's rampage. All of the people that should have been there, that said they _would _be there...

Why wouldn't he stop crying? Just for an hour. A minute. A _second_. All she'd wanted was a little bit of time, a second to just breathe… wrap her head around this whole thing; around him being gone.

But he hadn't.

He just… wouldn't shut up. Just kept wailing, _screeching _as loud as he could until she heard something inside of her finally break.

And then she'd… she'd almost-

She lurched to her feet, the bile rising in the back of her throat as her hand covered her mouth, her stomach heaving even as it had nothing left to throw up.

Her knees felt weak, shaking with the strain before she reached with her hand to grasp at the hospital bed's railing, using what little strength she had in her arms to hold herself upright.

Hospital… she should be in a cell

The door opened, and she barely had the presence of mind to take note of Hiruzen standing there as her head spun with dizziness and her legs shook on weak knees.

There was a vile burning at the back of her throat, every deep, shaking breath felt like fire inside her mouth, every swallow leaving a searing trail that made her eyes water.

Hiruzen didn't say a word.

She didn't look at him. Couldn't look at him. The shame alone would kill her if she did.

She'd never felt so disgusting as she did right now under his gaze.

Even so… she had to ask.

"Is he alright?"

She heard him breathe, slow; an exhale, could smell the pipe smoke from here, the ruddy light of the emergency bulbs from the hallway casting a long, dark shadow.

"Do you care?"

The words, delivered so bluntly and cruely; cut her down to the bone, the breath literally stolen from her lungs.

She did.

He should know that she did.

It had been a mistake, one stupid horrible mistake.

She tried to speak and felt her throat close up, she barely recognized the whimper her voice had become as she forced it out. "Please… Tell me he's alright."

Silence. She felt her stomach yawning into a gaping pit. Pure terror gripping her heart and turning it to ice as he remained utterly, terrifyingly silent.

Kushina cried.

She should have died. She should have died in that bed, bleeding and screaming. Should have died with Minato.

She… she-

"He will live."

The words were like a whitewash of cold water to the boiling turmoil in her chest and mind. She couldn't have stopped the scream she released if she'd tried, and the tears that came from her eyes burned even as they left trails of ice down her cheeks, falling from her trembling chin down to the white sheets.

Then the words came to her. Really registered.

He will live.

Just 'live'.

Was the damage… Had she crippled him? Was it physical? Mental? Would he walk again or-

"Look at me."

His voice ripped her out of her thoughts, she bit her lip, trembling where she stood.

She still couldn't. Didn't want to. She shook her head.

 _" Look at me!"_

The shout made her heart stutter in fear. She'd never heard him raise his voice, ever.

She obeyed before she could even think to disobey, turning and meeting a gaze that was stone cold, framed by a face that was seething in a quiet, dangerous fury.

"Two thousand, eight hundred sixty seven.." He spat out

The words confused her, but she didn't dare ask, or even have the audacity to look confused, not with the way he was looking at her.

Even so, he noticed her incomprehension. "That's how many people we had to bury yesterday." He hissed in answer.

He stepped closer, and she felt like vermin, trapped in a corner as a beast loomed closer, his anger was almost a palpable heat, rolling off of him. Hiruzen was a full head shorter than her, but she felt like the old man was towering right now, monolithic and imposing as she backed up to the wall, her hands still gripping the railing besides the bed.

"And you nearly unleashed it on us _again_!? Your own son!? Minato's son! I should have you _executed _on the spot!"

He should. If he gave the order now she would forgive him instantly.

"What the hell do you have to even say for yourself?" He snarled.

There were a million things she could have said. A million excuses. They tasted like ash on her tongue, choked her with the vile taste.

She shook her head.

"A fractured cheekbone, swelling in the brain- You almost broke his goddamn neck. _WHY?!_ " He screamed, demanding her answer.

The sob came unbidden and the tears that blinded her felt so… _inadequate_.

She heard it there, plain as day.

She'd nearly killed her son. Their son… and all she could do was fucking cry when asked the obvious question of: _Why?_

"Answer me!"

This time. She did shake her head. She would not. She would not try to justify herself. She wouldn't give an excuse. She did it, and if he wanted to put her down like an animal she would accept the punishment without a word.

The silence between them was thick, heavy with a thousand unsaid things and a hundred unasked questions.

She could see his fists trembling at his side, and though she didn't dare look at him she could almost hear when he unlocked his grit teeth and forced the words to come.

"He is no longer your son."

The words were quiet. Damnit. Finite.

Of everything he could have said, of every punishment he could have given, even death; she didn't think anything could have utterly destroyed what little remained of her heart quite so thoroughly.

She felt… cold. Numb. His words passed through her ears like sounds from a distant world while she was trapped underwater.

"He will not carry Minato's surname to protect him, and he will not carry yours to spare him. Naruto is an orphan, whom will be provided for by the state until he comes of age either biologically, or enrolment to a genin team. Effective immediately, there is a standing order in place until further notice- You will never approach this boy. You will never speak to him. You will never help or hinder him in any way. You had better consider yourself as dead to him as you tried to make him dead to you."

Her heart pounded beneath her ribs, beating so hard she felt physical pain as her blood thundered through her ears, so loud she could barely hear Sarutobi's voice over the rushing in her temples.

"Disobeying this order will be punishable by the revoking of your ninja licence, prison time, or execution depending on the severity of your action. Do I make myself clear."

She wanted to scream. To pull at her hair and howl, say she was sorry. Beg him for another chance, strike at him even.

A myriad, whirlwind of chaotic emotions warred in her mind but above all one thought dominated the others, taking hold of her body and forcing her to act, even as her brain felt like a mass of jagged knives tearing at the inside of her skull.

 _Keep him safe. Keep him away from you. You're Dangerous, Unfit, Cruel._

She nodded wooddenly, forcing her head to move, down, up and down again. Hiruzen looked at her, unmasked loathing in his gaze. He turned and left without another word.

The door closed and she lost what little strength had been keeping her upright, her legs finally giving up the fight as she fell on the ice cold hospital floor.

She didn't move until the next morning, when a nurse found her.

She'd tried to stop crying.

Why couldn't she stop crying?


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

She told herself, everyday, that it would get easier. That over time, she would find keeping her distance more and more natural. Bearable.

A lie.

She hadn't known it was a lie when she started it of course. Or, maybe she had, and she just couldn't think of any other way to bear this pain.

It was, after all, a pretty lie. Comforting even. Saying that something so heartwrenching, so painful will soon be easier. Optimistic and hopeful.

But still... a lie will always remain a lie.

As such, it never got any easier staying away, and watching him from afar was equal parts painful and soothing that soothed the deep pain in her soul as she watched.

The Orphanage caretakers weren't abusive, but neither were they kind. Brusque, always busy with some other duty or child that needed to be seen to and always exhausted from long hours in a place flooded with dozens of new charges.

He cried. And she couldn't, for the life of her, ever fathom why the sound had driven her to literal madness all those months ago. She could listen to it for hours, forever if that was the only thing of his voice she could hear.

Sometimes when he cried, they either didn't notice, or couldn't pick themselves up from their exhaustion, or were simply taking care of other kids. He cried for hours and it was an almost physical struggle to force herself to keep still and not go to him, a torture of her emotions that she never walked away from because she could never leave without making sure someone came, and always, someone did come.

Either a caretaker or a nurse, but more often than not she noticed a boy, older now, possibly an orphaned Genin passing through the system with the death of his parents. Thin, frail, sickly. She overheard his name as Gekko.

He would carry him, change him, and feed him when he was given the bottle and formula. He smiled and made silly faces when he thought no one was looking that made Naruto smile with a mouthful of gums before he pressed his drooling mouth to his shoulder.

Then, one day, he was processed through the system and gone.

And her boy was alone again.

(X)(X)(X)

The first year came.

Then the second.

More and more Hiruzen would send her out on missions away from the village, on assignments that took more and more time. The man wasn't stupid and he wasn't blind. He knew what she was doing and he was giving her an out and a warning all at once. Before she knew it, the third year came and went.

By the time she took proverbial stock, the Orphanage had returned to a semblance of normalcy, no longer full to bursting with children whose parents were killed by the Fox or enemy ninja.

Her boy had grown.

The caretakers never neglected him, never abused him, but few treated him kindly. Only one, an old man that could barely walk even with a cane ever did more than simply feed and ignore him, and his attentions consisted of tossing a ball with her little Naruto a handful of times a week making exaggerated motions and faces.

He played with the other children, chewed on toys too big to be swallowed. He spoke his name and a few other words. The first time she'd heard it her heart crumbled a bit more with the pain of it.

She didn't know when he'd started talking.

It must have happened when she was on mission certainly.

But which mission? What month? What day? What was his first word? Had anyone besides her cared?

She didn't know. And she had to repeat it to herself that she had to stay away, that she'd tried to kill him, that she lost the right to these things… these privileges that mothers enjoyed when they weren't dangerous, like her.

At her best nights, she could sleep without feeling completely wretched.

(X)(X)(X)

Far as anyone knew, her son died at childbirth.

Its what Hiruzen told them, and the subject was too painful, and they too polite to ever really pry.

After all. Konoha's Red Hot kunoichi, known for her temper and the mouth on her would never, ever let someone take her son away. It just wouldn't happen.

Heh.

It would be years before anyone discovered her secret. Years before her mask cracked and her spirit was finally worn down to the bone.

People noticed the difference in her, of course. Her new silence, her reservedness, her avoidance of them. They worried, asked if there was anything they could do. Offered to help in "any way they could," said they were "there for her."

She smiled… offered thanks… and kept her silence.

What could she say?

Even if she could tell them, even if she wanted to tell them, what would she say? That she kept her pregnancy a secret? Lied to all of them for years? Watched with jealous resentment as they moved on? Rebuilt their lives while hers crumbled around her?

Maybe she should have. At least say something. Give voice to something even if it was just to scream and let it out.

But she never did.

And so of all the people, of all her friends… it had to be her that found out.

She'd forgotten, about their training; that day.

So she'd thought she'd had the day clear. Nothing planned. No meetings, missions or pending events.

No one to come by. No one to bother her. To interfere.

She hadn't even had the mind to lock her door. No need to give the police force trouble when they were called.

So when Mikoto opened it, and found her staring at a pill bottle on her living room table…

They were rivals. Always had been, since they were girls.

They hated each other.

That's what they each told the other all the time.

What they told all of their mutual friends.

But she'd never seen the woman move that fast in her life.

Mikoto grabbed the bottle before she could even think to hide it, and looked at her with a face that was too pale, eyes too wide and frightened before she emptied the damn thing right down her sink.

She heard the clicks and clacks of pills, rattling in plastic, the running faucet washing them all down the pipes.

She heard Mikoto slam the bottle over the countertop and shut off the faucet.

They didn't look at eachother. Hell, neither of them even spoke a single word for a long, long time.

When Mikoto moved again, she knelt in front of Kushina, dark hair casting a shadow across her face with the angle of the light from the window, red eyes shining like blood drenched rubies, three tomoe spinning in the iris.

"Talk to me."

There was a suggestion there, a command. She could feel the foreign presence, feel the tug on her will and thoughts.

She could have resisted. She'd done it before. Second nature by now. Couldn't let the Uchiha princess beat her, after all.

But she didn't. Maybe she didn't want to. Maybe she just didn't have the will. Or maybe the suggestion was never necessary at all.

Her voice broke into a choked sob, and before she realized what she was doing she was lurching forward, all but collapsing onto Mikoto, who's hands rose up and caught her, clutched her close as she sobbed into her neck and shoulder.

The words came out, broken and nearly incoherent with grief, pain and a sheer desire to be given voice after so very very long having been kept in the cage of silence.

She felt her long time rival rubbing circles along her back, long fingers tracing tense muscles as she listened quietly and let the years of grief crash over her.

She wasn't sure how long she spoke, or how long she cried. She wasn't even sure what she was saying or if Mikoto even understood half of it.

When it was over, Mikoto vowed to come back the next day, and forced Kushina to swear, to never try this again. Never even think it. The heiress knew she was fierce at the notion of keeping her promises.

She did come back the next day.

And the next day.

And the day after that.

After that day, she would never again refer to Uchiha Mikoto as anything less than her friend.

(X)(X)(X)

When he was given an apartment at eight, She wasn't sure if it was better or worse.

The Orphanage was no home, but neither should an eight year old be worried about paying rent, water and light, or cooking for himself…

Others were watching him, others were always watching, it was the only thing that brought her some semblance of comfort that he wouldn't spill boiling water onto himself in an accident and die before someone got him to the hospital. They would keep him alive; especially Kakashi.

She could feel his gaze pass over her whenever she drew near, like a burning hot floodlight, illuminating and searing over her flesh.

He hadn't forgiven her. Good.

He shouldn't.

She hadn't.

He had no one to teach him, and so he learned things slowly, and he learned them on his own. As such, he learned to read late, and not well. Books, diagrams. He stuck to it because it was needed, not because he enjoyed it. Math was a different matter, he needed it, used it every day, he picked it up fast by pure necessity when most of his peers were still playing in the playgrounds.

He dreamed about being a ninja, even his dislike of reading didn't stop him from collecting book after book after book of ninja, and the Hokage especially.

His monthly stipend was from Minato's trust, and various village programs, what money she tried to send his way was funneled into the accounts. She knew Hiruzen pretended not to notice, and she was grateful for it.

It let Naruto afford better gear when he went and shopped for it. Weapons, bandages, explosive tags. Even if he didn't inherit Minato's natural talent he seemed to have at least gotten his penchant for preparedness. If he knew what he needed for something he wouldn't try to cut corners or do without unless he absolutely had to.

He wasted absolutely nothing. When he called or hired someone to repair an appliance he watched them like a hawk. Not because he didn't trust them, but because he never wanted to call them again. He would watch to learn to fix it himself. One of them, a middle aged gentleman walked her boy through the step by step disassembly of a toaster, explaining how everything worked.

That Toaster, since then had broken two other times, and Naruto had repaired it on both occasions.

And she watched it all. Like she'd done in every spare moment she'd had for years. She watched as he took his tests, watched as he trained, learned, tried to keep up with the others of his class. How he forced himself day in and day out to train that little bit harder, try for that one extra push up or sit up more than he'd managed the last time.

She watched him succeed… and fail sometimes.

Worst of all… she watched him leave every day.

She watched those blue eyes look at the other kids, look at their smiling parents, drink in the feeling of pride displayed on their faces, the happiness and joy of family.

And she would see that light in his eyes dim. That hope replaced by forlorn sadness; a deep longing for what he'd never known.

Jealous embers simmered behind his eyes before guilt smothered even that for having ever been felt at all.

But others didn't see that in him. They saw the joker, the prangster, the obnoxious nuisance. Some even saw danger.

But no. Her boy was good right down to his very core. All he needed was for someone to look at him not past him.

Her gut churned, and before she realized what she'd been doing she stood up from where she'd been watching from a nearby rooftop, a step away from falling and taking him into her arms and never letting go again.

And then the world spun, vertigo hit her before she could bring up her defenses, and she was somewhere else, looking at the baleful glare of Hatake Kakashi, mismatched eyes finding her own, his Anbu mask hanging from his belt.

"Go home."

The words were blunt, curt, without the slightest hint of the kind affection he once looked at her with.

She shook her head, more to get her bearings than deny his demand, but that desire was present too. "He is my son."

"Not anymore." He said, voice low.

She caught movement from the corner of her eye, Naruto was getting up, walking away and leaving again.

She moved to follow.

And Kakashi was in front of her again and it was a physical urge she had to fight down to not clock him across the face.

The sound of a crying baby reached her ears, all around her, bouncing off the walls of her mind.

Kakashi's voice was harsh, and the flat tone he'd been using now bled at the edges of anger. "Go. Home."

She opened her mouth, ready to argue, ready to tell him to go down there himself or get the fuck out of her way.

Damn him, and Damn Sarutobi!

The crying abruptly stopped, choked off, the sound of a blow bouncing around her brain and she froze with renewed horror.

She heard her own voice now speaking over the shrieking wails.

Just shut up. Just shut up shut up SHUT UP!"

She heard the blow again, the rustling of clothes and she could see her, see him, lying there in the cradle, blue eyes glassy, a horrid bruise rapidly forming over his cheek, her hands reaching for his pale throat, brandished like claws.

Then Kakashi was there, his fists grasping at her Jounin vest, lifting her off her feet and slamming her back into the rooftop access door behind her, her body clanging against the metal barrier, feeling it buckle and the back of her head ringing from where it smacked against it.

"Not gonna ask next time." He snarled. "Stay. Away from him!"

He let her go, and her own legs barely caught her, holding her up.

By the time she had the strength, the will to move again the moon was high in the sky.

That night, with no sleep and barely any supplies she took the highest risk mission the village had available and left.

(X)(X)(X)

He didn't have to 'ask' her again.

With the memory fresh in her mind, as vivid as though it had happened mere hours ago…

She stayed away.

She stayed away as long as she could. She received her missions from chuunin border outposts and dead drops, took on assignments in foreign, hostile territory, looked for the most dangerous of enemies, criminals and murderers.

They couldn't kill her. They tried of course. They all failed.

Maybe someday, someone would succeed.

Maybe someday she would be too slow, or just a little bit too tired from the nightmares that kept her awake at night. Or too weak from the stale ration bars she barely forced herself to choke down every day.

The money came as expected every time, flowing into her account, then out of hers and into his. Sometimes an Anbu tracked her down, delivered messages from the others. Some few friends asking after her, worried. Mikoto's in particular were angry seething things that demanded she come back or at the very least write.

She never did.

She had to stay away.

If she couldn't control herself, if she couldn't stop herself from going to him, the woman that had nearly killed him in his crib, she had to stay away.

Then, one day she got a message, one that brooked no argument.

It wasn't from Mikoto, or Chouza, or any of the others that kept writing her.

It said one word.

Return

Hiruzen's seal was firmly at the bottom, bright red like blood.

She followed the Anbu messenger without a word.

She realized as they crossed the border back into fire territory… that she had to ask him how long she'd been gone.

Fourteen months.

Another year had gone by.

He was nine now. Nine and five months.

He only ever celebrated his birthdays with Hiruzen. He would take him out to eat, tell him stories about the Kage and battles long past.

Did he do so again this year?

She hoped so. It was one of the few times she could remember her boy was genuinely happy, not just pretending to be.

The journey was silent. Not tense, but not comfortable either.

Her escort didn't seem to wish for conversation and she was too unused to it by now to strike it up herself.

She remembered days when she could talk easily, make friends easily. They seemed like they were the images and memories of a wholly different woman now looking back.

She had been different then hadn't she? Better. Happier. With Minato acting like a warm sun through her day, shining bright.

She didn't bother asking why Hiruzen wished for her to return. The worst case scenarios passed through her mind sometimes, and they made her heart race, beating hard beneath her ribs in fear but she didn't ask.

Stay away. Kakashi's words in her voice bounced around her skull.

They returned to a village draped in the white colors of mourning.

She wondered, for a fleeting moment if Hiruzen had died. But no, the Hokage monument was clear, all Kage had their vissages shrouded in mourning colors for a month after their passing. Something else was wrong.

The Chuunin at the gate were young, she didn't recognize them. They didn't recognize her. They seemed like they worked together a while though, possibly the same genin team judging by how they bickered and argued.

She was led to the tower and before long she was in front of Hiruzen's desk, the old man's pale white robes even more stark on this day.

He turned his head, looking at her with tired eyes

"Who died?"

She barely recognized her voice. It'd been a while since she'd used it. Since she'd had need of it.

.The old monkey took off his hat, passing a hand over thinning hair. "The Uchiha clan."

She didn't understand what was said. Her mind simply refused to register and comprehend the words.

Her thoughts flashed to Mikoto, the image of her friend sending a sharp knife through her chest.

"Wha-"

"Only a handful of survivors." He spoke over her question, smoke wafting out from the cage of his teeth. "I called you back on the Matriarch's request."

Her heart, which had been stuttering in her chest gave another relieved lurch and she felt she could breathe again! "Mikoto's alive?"

He nodded, eyes fixed ahead, haunted. "Aye. She demanded I order your return. I did not have the heart to refuse."

Her world spun, she felt dizzy, worry, relief and anxiousness warring in her mind all at once, she barely even noticed when Hiruzen stood, his words of "Wait Here" sounded muffled and distant to her ears as she held onto the back of the chair to keep herself upright.

Minutes, perhaps hours later, the door opened again, and before She could fully turn Mikoto was there, her arms coiled around her and hugging her tight, so tight it hurt, and their positions from years ago were reversed, and now she was the one holding and comforting the openly sobbing woman as she cried and told her... everything…

She found herself making another promise this day.

She would never take another mission for so long outside the village again.


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

Mikoto survived only because she'd been out training.

Training to get back onto the mission roster for higher ranked missions after being gone for so long.

STraining because she wanted to be strong enough to take a mission that would bring them together so Kushina could be 'Dragged back kicking and screaming'

If it hadn't been for that, she'd have been killed by her own son too. Maybe the whole clan would have been killed without that. Mikoto had been the one to return, discover the bodies and raise the alarm after all.

She'd cut the massacre short. Though not by much. A clan of over two hundred people brought down to little over two a dozen in a single night.

A massive, devastating blow to a village still recovering from a great war and the destruction of a rampaging Bijuu,

She didn't understand it.

Itachi had always been a quiet, thoughtful boy. She could even go so far as to say he was a kind boy. Though she knew many people wouldn't name that as a quality he had.

The question was simple.

 _ **Why?**_

That was always the question, wasn't it?

That was always what came to mind. What people wanted to know.

They wanted to know, but she knew better than anyone that he answer was never… sufficient. It would always be… _inadequate_ ,

Mikoto threw herself into the work of maintaining what little of the clan remained, to the point that Kushina worried for her dark haired friend. The political sharks could smell blood in the water and they were not slow to swim to it, looking to rip out a piece for themselves and fill in the power vacuum left by the Uchiha shaped hole in the body of the village.

No time for grief, no time for second guessing or what ifs. Mikoto worked day and night like a woman possessed. She worked for herself, her remaining clan members, for Sasuke and everything in between.

Perhaps that's why when Mikoto asked Kushinato move in with them, she didn't have the heart to say no.

She did many things she wouldn't have considered without Mikoto being the one to ask.

She trained sasuke, she used her own image, her name and her fame to spearhead a recruitment drive for the police force. She tendered her resignation to the Anbu spec-ops.

She did it because Mikoto asked her to.

She did it because they were both broken in different ways.

Because they were both grieving. Because they understood each other and because they were probably each other's last 'true' friends. And because she didn't want to lose her last friend.

But there was one thing she would not budge on. One thing Mikoto asked that she would not consider.

Stay away.

More than once her friend asked to petition Sarutobi, told her to demand for the order to be removed, hell, for Kushina to give Mikoto herself permission to adopt him, legally, if they really had to force the issue and get around the order.

Stay away.

She almost said yes; more than once.

She wanted to say yes.

Of course she did.

More than anything else in the world.

But those sweet dreams where she could hold her son in her arms again, where she could take care of him, teach him, provide for him, comfort him, pick him up after he fell and do all those things that mothers were supposed to do…

Those dreams always ended the same way.

They end with the sound of her fist striking a screaming baby with all her strength. Hitting him again and feeling the bone break beneath her knuckle, feeling the sickening give of his cheek snaking all the way up her arm and watching his eyes turn glassy, the red sputter out of his nose and mouth, hearing him choking on his own blood, as he tried to suck down a wet, ragged breath…

And her, feeling absolutely nothing.

Merely ready to hit him again so he would just **be quiet.**

Then she would wake up.

And she would say No.

Mikoto would scream, rage, even cry on one occasion. Tears of frustration and fury as she shouted that Kushina had punished herself enough for her mistake.

She was wrong. It might never be enough.

Stay away.

So she did.

She watched him. She had that luxury now. She got a full week of time before Kakashi caught wind of it and shadowed her once again. Or, perhaps it was a week before he slipped up and she was able to detect him.

Either way, it didn't matter. The Third ordered her never to approach him. To never speak to him.

But he never said she couldn't see him.

Kakashi could not keep her from watching.

When he failed the academy the first time, she expected him to cry.

He hadn't. He'd stubbornly grit his teeth, and choked down the tears that glimmered at the corner of his eyes. Even as some of the crueler children laughed at him. He clenched his fists and rigidly refused to sob.

That had been more heart-wrenching than if he had cried like a boy his age should have.

His second year was better than his first, with children closer to his age group. He made friends with two of his classmates, a girl called Tenten, and a boy called Lee.

They played often after class, with Lee being one of the few that could keep up with Naruto's boundless energy. Tenten made Kushina smile when she was around. She seemed to be the brains of their little operation, keeping both of them in line and not being afraid to boss them into line.

When he failed the second time, on the grounds that he couldn't do the Bunshin no Jutsu when Lee couldn't even use chakra to do any of the three basic academy Jutsu, her hackles and her suspicions were raised.

She found the culprit that very night.

One of the Chuunin examiners, old enough to remember the Kyuubi attack. Old enough to hold a grudge.

He'd fixed the score.

She didn't hurt him. Though she'd been tempted. She took the evidence to the Hokage, the Chuunin being none the wiser.

He didn't act as she'd expected. He didn't give Naruto the Hitaiate, place him on a team as he deserved.

Perhaps it would be too embarrassing politically. Perhaps it would cause too much of a scandal that the academy allowed the instructors enough control and too little oversight that they could rig test scores so brazenly.

But that Chuunin was fired the following morning.

And like a great cleansing flame Sarutobi's hand came down over the academy in the summer months in a way she hadn't seen in a long time.

An Uchiha Kunoichi was an instructor for his third year, along with another young chuunin, Iruka.

Sasuke was in his class.

It was probably because of Mikoto's encouragement, but quiet, shy Sasuke was the first to break the ice between the two. And Naruto made his third friend. Though he still considered Lee and Tenten friends, time and absence had forced a drift, though she had no doubt it would be mended quickly once they saw each other again.

As for his instruction, Iruka was not a bad teacher, all and all,. She could even go so far as to say he was a _good _teacher. And even though she could see moments of tension within the man, moments where she could tell he remembered exactly who Naruto was, she could commend his professionalism. He never took off one point or gave one extra to any single student. Not even Naruto.

The Uchiha kunoichi, Nanda, possibly because of Mikoto again, did go the extra mile. Offering tutoring for three hours every saturday morning to the students and encouraging Naruto _specifically _to take it

He passed that year, though he still couldn't do the bunshin to save his life.

He'd never looked so happy as he did the moment Iruka tied the headband around his head. His smile was infectious, she could feel it even where she hid and watched. Iruka himself couldn't help but smile back at the boy. Probably the first smile he'd ever given him in the entire year.

Mikoto took Sasuke to celebrate, and in that moment, barely waited for him to even pose the question before inviting Naruto herself.

It was a strange thing. Being grateful and at the same time feeling the hurt twisting her stomach into knots.

She took them to one of the more lavish restaurants near the Hyuuga district. Kushina had only gone once, with Minato, years ago.

He liked it because it was, literally, the best seafood in town. She liked it because the amount of food they served justified the considerable price tag. A bit. A very little bit.

Naruto was shy around Mikoto, quiet, reserved, but it didn't take long for Sasuke's poking and prodding to get him to his old self again, with both boys making bets as to who would beat who or get to chuunin first.

Then Sasuke asked a question.

"Kaa-san?"

"Yes, Sasuke?"

"Will Aunt Kushina come by?"

She froze where she sat, as if her name alone would make Naruto suddenly aware of her presence.

Her name. He knew her name now.

"Huh? You have an aunt?"

"Of course I have an aunt, idiot!"

She felt something in her chest petrify, turn brittle and break, the crumbling pieces of it falling away.

Mikoto answered him, but her voice wasn't really directed at him. "I don't know, Sasuke. Maybe."

It was a question to her, an open invitation laid flat on the proverbial table.

And in that moment the words she'd clung to for so long, the simple order that had been her guard rail for the entirety of his life stay away was suddenly absent, a distant echo in her thoughts, slipping through her fingers like water as she tried to grasp at it, keep herself from going in there.

She trembled where she hid a whimper choked down in her throat, a dozen emotions suddenly surging from within where she'd long since buried them in an effort to numb the pain.

Uncertainty.

Anxiety.

Excitement.

Anticipation.

Hope.

They all came out in an instant, clawing at the walls of her thoughts to take the most attention.

And then, just like that it was all drowned out by overriding, overpowering thing.

Fear.

Black and oily, it coiled around her mind like a snake, smothering the faint light that had broken through for just a moment.

Twelve _**years**_.

His entire life she'd been gone. Watching from a distance, never once helping him when he fell. Cleaning his scraped knees or teaching him things before he learned the hard way.

Twelve years of absence. Of distance and apathy.

She'd tried to kill him as a baby. Then she'd tried to kill herself. Now she'd tried to kill her feelings.

She'd failed at all three.

And now she wanted to hope… to walk in there and what… try at motherhood like she'd tried so many other things and failed at them?

 _Stupid, Worthless, Fool._ Her thoughts hissed.

Their food had arrived, Mikoto had ordered the most expensive dish of fish and lobster for them. She didn't even see Naruto's eyes go wide with wonder before she stood up and walked away.

She wasn't sure where she was going, or what she was even doing. She just kept walking.

To be more accurate.

She fled.

(X)(X)(X)

She didn't return home that night, or the day after. When she finally did return, Mikoto was equal parts furious and apologetic. A curious dichotomy of emotions that ended with Mikoto bandaging Kushina's fists, caked with her own dried blood.

She found out the team assignments that night after Sasuke made it home.

He'd missed out on the top spot of the class by a mere handful of points, the title going to Aburame Shino instead. Sasuke was placed with Inuzuka Kiba and Hyuuga Hinata, Naruto with Shino and Haruno Sakura.

Sasuke's sensei was another Uchiha, one of three remaining in the clan with a fully awakened, three Tomoe Sharingan. Mikoto was the second and the third a Kunoichi making a bid to receive the nomination to lead the still rebuilding police force.

Naruto's Sensei was Hatake Kakashi.

Again, it was a curious thing. This mixture of gratitude and hurt.

No one would protect Naruto more diligently.

And no one would work harder to keep her away from him.

She didn't watch Hatake's test the day it happened. Too worried her presence might drive the man to do something rash, or that she would interfere in some way.

But she heard he passed minutes after Kakashi declared it all the same.

The rest of it didn't matter, all the conflicting, exaggerated or changing stories didn't matter. All of the speculation and deductions, none of it mattered. All that mattered is that Naruto had passed, and that he was happy.

She kept her distance for a time, for all their sakes, but truthfully, more for hers than anyone else.

Her last conversation with her late husband's last living genin had been… hard. The memories Kakashi dragged up for the both of them with that eye of his still rang clear as day in her head, never allowed to fade from her thoughts. He'd done it with rage in his chest and the sheer longevity of the subconscious command he delivered spoke volumes of how witnessing her actions had scarred him as deeply as it had her.

But even the fury of that cursed eye wasn't going to keep her away forever.

The day she watched the team in the training grounds he approached her almost as soon as she'd found a vantage to observe comfortably.

His feet touched down so silently, even another Jounin might have missed it.

She didn't.

"I thought I was clear enough." He said.

"You'll have to cut out my eyes if you want me to never see him again, Kakashi."

Despite the violent imagery of her words, her voice was soft, almost too quiet to hear.

"Shino has his insects frequently out in the surrounding area."

"He won't spot me," she declared, watching as Kakashi instructed the two boys sparring together. While Naruto's technique was lacking, the fact that Shino couldn't simply wait him out as his bugs drained Naruto of chakra was showing many flaws in the Aburame's own form when he was put under pressure.

"He better not," he finally said, disappearing in a puff of smoke, knowing he couldn't force the issue.

(X)(X)(X)

She could see it in the days and weeks that followed.

His team was good for him.

Chalk it up to Aburame's ingrained need for efficiency, or to view things logically, but Shino forced his teammates to train in ways that strengthened their weaknesses. With his suggestion that Sakura join in Naruto's morning training routine to increase her physical capabilities and that Naruto re-read everything from the Academy's combat practical curriculum under his and Sakura's watchful eyes- and in Sakura's case, head slapping stick so he'd concentrate- she saw her son's harsher edges begin to round out.

Even in social skills, as she saw when he noticed for himself when he was getting on his teammates last frayed nerve after a long day and curbed his habitual overeagerness in displays of self awareness and control, she knew couldn't have been easy for him.

Even so, Aburame's obsessive need for everything to be running to standard didn't stop with his teammates. Shino got into discussions frequently with Kakashi when he felt the Jounin wasn't pushing and challenging them all hard enough.

He was wrong in some instances of course, while Kakashi's pace was a bit more lax than she perhaps would have taken with the kids Shino's unique physiology did not allow him to fully grasp how much rest regular human bodies required between bouts of strenuous exercise to receive actual gains rather than increased risk of injury.

A blindspot Naruto wasn't really helping with.

But still, Kakashi was curbing the more oblivious suggestions he was giving (like allowing his hive to eat through all of Sakura's chakra reserves every morning so the girl would train without it and thus, increase her reserves faster) while adopting the more sensible ones, like teaching Naruto some high chakra requirement Jutsu since he seemed to have so much chakra that a percentage of Shino's hive had eaten themselves to death with Naruto being utterly oblivious throughout the day.

That thought brought a chuckle out of her.

She wondered for a time, what would have happened if Sasuke had been on Naruto's team instead. The boys were friends, but Sasuke's timid shyness gave way to a fierce competitive streak, especially with Naruto. She couldn't picture her nephew encouraging Naruto's rapid growth in the name of 'Team efficiency'

Then, one fine day they left, on a C rank mission outside the village.

In the following days it didn't take her long to find a wholly new 'strange' sensation to add to the list.

Anxious restlessness.

He's been out of her sight before. Not very long ago she had been absent for fourteen straight months without sight or sound from him.

But back then he'd always been within the village; he'd always been in a place where the greatest danger he could face was his own mishap.

Kakashi was, arguably the strongest ninja in the village beyond herself and Sarutobi. He would protect Naruto. There was nothing that should even come close to threatening him on a C rank mission.

Even beyond Kakashi, Shino could double as an effective sensor with his Kikaichu, very little could sneak past his insects, even she had trouble on occasion avoiding their myriad of eyes and ears.

All of this was credible in her mind, all of it made sense, and absolutely none of it made her anxiety levels any more bearable.

She paced across her rooms in the Uchiha compound when she should be sleeping, or trained til the sun was well beneath the horizon, walked the village streets like a wraith, all the while counting the days to their scheduled return. It got so bad Mikoto had actually started lacing her nightly teas with sleeping draughts so she would actually _sleep_. Not just close her eyes.

If they were late, order or not, authorization or not, she would march out of those gates and head to Wave herself.

They ended up being late by nearly a full day, she already had weapons and supplies packed and ready to go before word finally reached her..

The relief that sagged her shoulders uncoiled the tension through her body, and for the first time in what felt like forever she felt her ribs seemingly uncoiling from the crushing embrace they'd held over her beating heart and diaphragm. The deep breath she finally sucked down that expanded her lungs made her muscles ache pleasantly as they stretched and finally relaxed.

Still, it wasn't enough. It wouldn't be enough until she saw him with her own eyes looked at his smile and heard his laugh.

She resisted the urge to run, but it was not by much.

Either through luck, or providence, she arrived at the tower before them.

She hovered for a moment at the lobby entrance indecision warring in her mind before she reached a decision, hatched a plan.

She hid her chakra signature, marching up the stairs and lingering beyond the hallway that led to Hiruzen's office.

She sensed his chakra when he drew close, a little beacon of sunshine next to the little puffs of cloud beside him. Kakashi wasn't hiding his, he likely wasn't aware of her presence.

Good.

As they ascended the stairs she made her way across the hall and stepped into Hiruzen's office.

The older man turned at the sound of his door opening, eyes finding hers. She saw the lines of his face deepen, eyes turning sad and guarded.

"Kushina." He said, "What brings you here?"

"I was wondering if you had an assignment." She lied.

He raised an eyebrow, and in a second she saw his eyes narrow just a bit as he caught on.

Too late.

The door slammed open, and a loud voice called out as she slipped her mask in place, selling the thin veneer of serendipity as she hastily hid her face.

"Hey old man! We're back!"

His voice made her smile, loud as it was, but his appearance caused her to worry all over again. His right fist was bandaged, she could smell the faint hint of medical alcohol, sharp and sterile across her senses, his jumpsuit was damaged with numerous scrapes that tore the cloth; but his smile was brilliant, setting her whirling thoughts at ease.

"Naruto!" Sakura shouted behind him. "You're not supposed to talk to Hokage-sama like that."

"But Sakura-chan-" He whined.

"Please do not be so loud you two." Shino complained/requested.

Looking at the genin that had marched ahead of the man, she spared a glance behind her towards Kakashi.

He stood at the doorway, the picture of an unbothered jounin, save for the look in that onyx black eye of his. Even someone half as smart as him could have put two and two together.

"Mah mah." The man smiled at Hiruzen. "Team seven's completed their mission. But we can come back to give the report later Hokage-sama since you seem busy."

There was a moment between the three of them. A small brief window of eternity the bickering children seemed momentarily oblivious to.

Then it was broken. Hiruzen finally spoke. "Give your report, Kakashi. My business with Anbu-san can wait."

The only hint to the man's anger was the minute tightening of the skin under his eye.

"Hmm." He nodded and then looked to the three. "Hey."

"Yes, sensei?" Shino asked.

"Why don't you guys head out to eat?" He asked, eye crinkling in a smile. "I know you're hungry, and I'd probably be able to get this done faster if it's just me."

"Huh? Whaddaya mean Kakashi-sensei?" Naruto asked, squinting up at the taller man. "I was gonna tell Jiji about the awesome part where Shino and me-"

"Shino and I." The Jounin corrected with a smile patting Naruto on the head with a chuckle. "It's all right, Naruto. Go get something to eat. I promise I'll not leave out a single detail about all of the team's heroics."

Naruto shrugged smiling as he usually did. "Alright. Let's get something to eat, guys!"

"We're not having Ramen again!" Sakura exclaimed.

"But I haven't had any since we left!"

She barely heard Shino mutter out a quiet answer before the three of them were walking down the hallway, the door shutting behind him.

"Should I be worried about you stalking my team now?"

"I came here for a mission," she shot back, feeling her lip curl.

"I'm sure."

"Stop." Hiruzen's voice made them both fall silent, stiffening where they stood as the older man closed his eyes, seemingly fighting off a headache.

"Report." He demanded.

Kakashi obeyed.

"The Mission was a success, as you suspect," he stated.

"What complications did you face?" Hiruzen asked.

"What makes you think we faced complications?"

"You're saying you injured Naruto in the village walls?" Hiruzen raised an eyebrow. "It's the only way I see him marching in here with anything less than a fully healed hand."

The copy nin took a breath. "The 'complication' is that the mission was never a C rank."

"The client lied then?"

"Quite." The Jounin nodded. "This mission should have been classified as an A rank escort mission.

"You faced an enemy ninja force?"

"We did. Four in total. Three Chuunin and one Jounin. All missing nin."

There was a twisting in her gut. A spike of something she could only liken to worry something that was barely appeased by the knowledge that she had just seen him, he was safe, and he was whole.

Kakashi went onto explain the mission, encountering the demon brothers on the road, spotted long before they'd physically reached them, the Aburame had slowly drained their chakra, by the time they realized they'd been discovered, it was too late, both Kiri's "Demon brothers" had tried to run, only for Kakashi to intercept.

He'd killed them both, and she was grateful to note he'd allowed the men to run far enough so that none of his team had to see the grizzly deed.

"Why did you not return to the village at that point?"

"I… made an error in judgement." Kakashi admitted. "I believed the Demon brothers, or perhaps some particularly strong Chuunin would be the worst we would face. Nothing I couldn't handle. It would give the team valuable experience. The only reason I even chased the demon brothers at all is because, even tired, they were too fast for Naruto, Shino and Sakura to catch up with, and I figured if they regrouped with anyone else that could be working with them, then we'd be in trouble."

Sarutobi took a breath and Kushina had to work to keep herself still. "I hope you realize how grossly negligent and downright reckless that was, Kakashi."

"In hindsight. I do. It will never happen again, I assure you."

"Continue."

"We proceeded with the mission. Nothing untoward happened until we moved crossed the body of water that separates Wave from the rest of the mainland, at which point we were ambushed by Momochi Zabuza."

"The Bloody Mist?"

"The very same. We battled, and honestly-" He smirked. "My team stepped up. Zabuza forced me into a bad position, things could have gone much *much* worse."

"What exactly did they do?"

"Sakura, surprisingly, is the one that came up with the plan, Shino provided cover for the team against the Mizu Bunshin and Naruto himself practically attacked Zabuza alone to get him on the back foot long enough for me to capitalize on the opportunity they made."

"Can I trust you to provide a full report?"

"I'll have them write their accounts to go with it later but yes. At the end of it, Zabuza was injured, as was I, he retreated with the help of his last accomplice, a young chuunin-level Shinobi."

"You proceeded with the mission even then?"

"We'd already crossed the river. If we retreated we ran the risk of being attacked by more mist ninja in a territory they would be strongest."

Sarutobi sighed. "You are not making this any better, Kakashi."

"You were supposed to keep him safe."

She hadn't realized she'd spoken aloud until both men turned their eyes towards her.

"What was that Kushina?" Hiruzen asked.

A part of her told her to be quiet.

The rest of her smothered that part and then rounded on her husband's old student, a palpable fury making her whole body tremble with rage. "What the hell is wrong with you!?"

He faced her fully, this long standing hatchet laid down between the two of them was finally gonna be raised it seemed.

"Something to say?"

He got right in her face, sharingan eye on full display and before she even realized it she had a knife in her clenched fist. She barely even noticed Hiruzen standing from his desk, eyes watching them both.

"You were supposed to keep him safe. Not go off like you've got the biggest pair in the goddamn country. 'Nothing I can't handle on a C rank' the fuck class did you take? Because you had to learn how to shove your head so far up your own ass from somewhere!"

"You really wanna compare on a scale who screwed up the 'supposed to keep him safe' responsibility?"

"Yeah. That's right." She felt it now, a fire flickering to life in her chest, "You look at me like I'm everything that's gone wrong in his life. Maybe that's fucking true. But when you can't look past your own fucking ego to consider his or your team's safety. You don't have the _**right**_ to judge me like you're perfect; Minato taught you better."

"Guess we're both pretty big disappointments then."

Her hand rose and before she even saw him move, something gripped her bicep with bands of steel, holding her still.

Hiruzen was standing behind her, his hand gripping her arm.

"Enough"

Kakashi's mismatched eyes swiveled towards her hand, and then back towards her. For the briefest instant, she could have sworn she saw his features flash with sorrow before they hardened to the familiar, quiet contempt. "What? Didn't realize you'd raised that fist of yours again."

She never in her life, ever believed she would have grown to _hate_ Kakashi as fiercely as she did in that moment.

He looked straight at her as he spoke his next words "I want an order to keep her away from Naruto and my team. The last thing any of us need is him catching sight of her and asking questions that'll just lead to him getting hurt; Especially since it seems she hasn't gotten much better at controlling herself."

"I won't obey that order," she swore. It was treasonous, it was stupid to say it. But she didn't regret saying it for a single second. The flickering ember in her chest burned now into a full flame, rage driving her, making her feel a little bit like the woman she used to be.

Sarutobi made a noise of disgust in his throat, thrusting her arm down to her side and stepping between the two shoving them both apart with hard punches to their respective chests.

His lip curled as he looked between the both of them. "You will obey any order I give. And you will not try to manipulate me by knowingly pushing her buttons. The only order I am giving is that if you two start brawling in the streets you're to be arrested for a month and will face a steep fine of my choosing based on how pissed off I am the day it happens. Both of you get out. I expect a written report by tomorrow morning, Hatake. I've had enough.

They weren't happy, either of them. If she could have she'd have reached across over Hiruzen's head to rip his goddamn eye out and she had little doubt he was thinking the same thing.

He took a breath, vanishing in a swirl of leaves before she rounded to the door and shoved it open the old fashioned way. The massive oak slab nearly took down the walls, and whoever was stupid enough to be in the hallways quickly made themselves scarce.

When she got home later that night, Mikoto commented it was the first time she looked like herself again in thirteen years.

 **(X)(X)(X)**

 _Ok before anyone goes off saying I'm bashing Kakashi, I can't stress enough how much that is not my intention._

 _Kakashi isn't a "villain" in this story. He's not the "One keeping Kushina away from Naruto" Please consider that the day Kushina had her breakdown and nearly killed Naruto... Kakashi was just thirteen years old._

 _A grown person, witnessing that would be shaken. Someone Kakashi's age, at the end of the very same year that saw him lose his best friend, his last remaining teammate, his sensei, nearly having his home destroyed culminating in what must have been an absolutely horrifying moment witnessing what Kushina did to Naruto... this left a very deep scar. One that, like Kushina he hasn't entirely gotten over and like Kushina isn't entirely ruled by cold hard logic._

 _So don't think I'm bashing the guy. I'm really *really* not. Though I know its easy for that impression to be made._

 _Also, another reader asked me "Is the fic going to slow down" The answer is yes. This fic is gonna have six chapters not counting the prologue. The first three chapters are gonna breeze through the stages of canon I would like to get past, and the last three are going to be much more slower paced and will have a more traditional format as things come to ahead._


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3:**

The Chuunin exams came with their typical fanfare.

Merchants brought out their rare stocks, restaurants opened longer, artisan shops were ready with Konoha-made carvings, silk and furniture.

Tourists and clients began to arrive, trader caravans, shinobi from other villages, all coming in a quiet, steady stream. The marketplace was full to bursting at all hours; the section of the village dedicated to hotels and tourism was busier than usual. Konoha was the host of the exams this time and the excitement buzzed through the air.

Sasuke and his team would not be attending the exams. She already knew well in advance that Mikoto had absolutely no intention of signing a permission slip if it came to her.

She hadn't told as much to Sasuke of course, but her friend had no intention of her last remaining son going down the path of his brother, snapping under the pressures and responsibilities of higher ranks too early.

That was a fight waiting to happen she knew. While Mikoto had curbed the worst of Sasuke's grief and anger, he still very much wanted to make Itachi 'pay' for what happened to their clan, and his father especially.

He'd sulk for a few days. But Kushina knew Mikoto wouldn't budge.

She'd have done the same if she could.

She hoped, desperately, that Kakashi was not doing this to spite her in some way. But he'd nominated his team for the exam. Naruto. Sakura. Shino.

She watched their training, and while she could say they were competent and certainly had their own array of skills and talents, all three of them, they were still very much green and inexperienced. Another six months wouldn't hurt them. She didn't understand Kakashi's rush. They weren't in a war. They weren't even in a potential conflict at the moment. Why this desperation to get them to advance through the ranks? Couldn't he recall how it'd screwed with his own head, and all of the problems it caused him?

To his slight credit, he did step up their training but she disagreed with his decision, emphatically.

Asuma, Sarutobi's son, either by pride or peer pressure nominated his own team for the exams. She took solace in the fact that Maito Gai had done the same, which meant that Naruto would be meeting his friends, Tenten and Lee again after almost two years without having seen either of them. But that was a small comfort at best.

She tried to take her mind off of things with what she usually did, training. Either training herself, or helping Mikoto get back to her old strength. But the distractions could only distract for so long before she was literally climbing the walls. With no missions to take due to the requirement that a substantial ninja force remain in the village during the exams for security purposes she had *nothing* to do other than sit and wait.

Mikoto was loving it, particularly because just two days ago Kushina had gone so stir crazy she'd spontaneously cleaned the entire house. Top to bottom. Sasuke's room still smelled like oranges.

The world was moving too slowly, her mind spinning too fast. It had been too long, too many years since she had absolutely nothing to do that she felt the restlessness tearing at her insides and growing worse by the day.

Even watching as her son was taken away from her, as he entered the Chuunin exam building and would be gone for anywhere between three days to a week. And the worry for him within that place with so many foreign and enemy ninja just added a whole extra layer of anxiety to her already fraying nerves.

She could admit to herself that even compared to her usual, low standard, she was a goddamn mess.

This was the epiphany that hit her squarely, minutes before she marched into the Uchiha compound on the second day of the exam to find Mikoto arguing heatedly with a white haired, tall man in kabuki sandals.

"I need to talk to her."

"No. You need to get the fuck off of my property before I make you get the fuck off my property."

"Mikoto please-"

"You left. You abandoned her, Minato and Naruto. Thirteen years. Far as I'm concerned you can stay under whatever rock you crawled under and drop de-"

She stepped forward watching as Mikoto's eyes widened, her features paling as Jiraiya turned and saw her for the first time in thirteen long years.

He looked unsure, shuffling from one foot to the other as he stood there, averting his eyes to try and look anywhere but straight at her. "Kushina… It's ahhh…"

He trailed off.

She didn't know what to say. Neither did he apparently.

A million words were stuck in her throat, a dozen emotions running around her skull.

She wanted to punch him.

…

So she did.

Her swing came from home field. Pulled all the way back with her full weight thrown behind it, to the point that she lost her balance and pitched forward as he fell back with a shout of pain and a spurt of blood. She felt something give a satisfying crunch under her knuckles and his grunt as he fell to the dirt felt too good to be healthy.

She hit the ground and realized she was breathing heavy. Every slow inhale shuddering her whole body as her fist throbbed painfully. Had that crunch been from her and not him? Her fingers were numb, and it was hard to make another fist, but she managed. She wanted to hit him again.

"Deserved that," she heard him say, groaning in pain as he rolled to the side to get to his feet.

She wasn't sure when she went from her own spot on the ground to gripping the collar of his jacket, fisting it in a white-knuckled grip as she lifted him and slammed him back down to the packed earth, hard enough to kick up dirt.

He looked at her, with a bloodied nose and sad eyes. He didn't raise a hand to stop her as her fist rose and came down in another blow that cracked against his jaw.

"Why… Why...Whhyyyy!?" Every time she asked she slammed him against the ground, the words feeling like razor blades across her throat.

She felt Mikoto's hands on her shoulders, the strength of her grip giving Kushina a measure of focus as she recognized it, looking at Jiraiya who had done nothing more than close his eyes and grunt at every impact.

"If we couldn't be there for him, you promised you would be!" she accused. "You promised Minato! You promised me!"

"And I let you both down." He nodded, his hands rising to rest on her wrists. "I screwed up. I know I screwed up. I went inside my own head for a long time and didn't want to get out. But I'm here now. Let me make it right. Please."

She heard a sob. Distantly, she recognized it as her own, her grip tightening so much she heard something tear along the fabric as Mikoto's hands went from her shoulder's to her biceps, pulling her back with a gentle but firm force.

"Let him go. Let him go." She heard the whisper in her ear. "This won't help you if it gets out. Let him go."

Her hands opened, like clamps releasing and before she knew it Mikoto was pulling her away, her legs making her rise, taking two steps before she fell like a limp doll onto the front porch of their home, hands trembling as they hovered in front of her.

She barely heard the words said as Jiraiya stood, listening to the two beside her as though she was underwater.

She kept staring at her hands, seeing one finger beginning to swell, two of her knuckles discolored, the blood already drying on the ground.

Mikoto made him leave.

When she came back Kushina hugged her friend as though she was her last lifeline, clutching at her, burying her face in the Uchiha Matron's navel as she felt her slender fingers comb through her hair.

(X)(X)(X)

Jiraiya returned the next day.

She didn't see him. Mikoto met him at the door. She heard her urge him to leave again.

He did, after a time.

He returned the day after that.

And the day after that.

By the fourth day… she gathered both her courage and her control and finally stepped out of the house to face him.

He looked at her, and she could see a glimmer in his eyes that may have been the hint of tears. He looked haggard, worn… old.

Jiraiya was older, but he was never old, gifted with a simple nature, an easy laugh, the ability to make others laugh. He was never old.

But he looked it now. The lines of his face, the slump of his shoulders, the way he almost seemed to shrink in on himself under her eyes.

Her anger was still there. A festering, gnarled root, sticking out of the soil of her spirit, twisted and hard.

But so was something else, not forgiveness… a weariness. A sense of being tired. Of not wanting to remain angry at everyone. At everything.

She stepped forward and stood beside him.

She didn't look his way, she stared straight ahead, over the wall and towards the towering green forests that surrounded the village.

The silence between them hung thick and heavy. Too many emotions, too many things unsaid.

Finally… he broke it.

"I'm sorry."

He sighed, scratching the back of his head as he took a deep breath through his nose. "It… it doesn't even begin to cover it I know. I made… if I could do it all again-"

"You can't." She said. She knew that better than anyone. Can't go back. Can't take it back. Can't make different choices.

"I want to make it up to you. You and Naruto too."

"Can't do that either. Not for me." The wound was too deep. The trust she'd put in him, that Minato had put in him so absolute… when he hadn't come in those first months. That first year. After all the messages, the calls that she knew Sarutobi had made…

Maybe if he'd been there… things would have been different.

Maybe if he'd come to see her even once before he simply up and left halfway across the country without so much as a goodbye letter, she might have kept it together.

Maybe if she hadn't had to endure Minato's death and his abandonment of her to a newborn baby and a world without her husband, she might have a family.

Was that fair?

No. It probably wasn't.

She didn't feel like being fair though.

"Make it up to him, instead." The words came out of her without thinking.

Even without thinking, she meant them.

"You always told us you'd take care of him. That you'd train him. Protect him. So do it." She demanded, finally turning to look at him, he looked back, meeting her gaze with forlorn solemnity.

"You want to make it up. Do that. I don't need or want anything else from you." It came out harsher than she intended. A part of her felt the pang of guilt. The rest of her was trying to keep restraining the hurt and the anger behind whatever cage she'd managed to seal it behind for now.

He licked his lips, eyes diverting away, nodding once.

"I understand."

He turned and walked away.

She listened to him leave, too afraid to turn her eyes and look at him. Too afraid she'd say something she'd regret. That she'd dig the knife just a bit deeper.

Mikoto walked up behind her. "You o-?"

She took a deep, shuddering breath. Shaking her head as she held up her hand. Forestalling the question. "Just… Just go. Alright. You're busy, and I just wanna be alone right now, Mikoto."

"Kushina, I'm-"

"Please." She couldn't remember the last time her voice sounded like it did now. Brittle. Glass slowly cracking under too much weight. "Just… just go. Just for a little while."

Mikoto hesitates. And Kushina can hear the uncertainty in her voice. "O-okay."

She left, her footsteps fading away. and for once Kushina was grateful for the sepulchral silence of the Uchiha compound.

(X)(X)(X)

Naruto passed the preliminary exams. So did Sakura, but Shino did not, apparently having drawn a fight against none other than Rock Lee.

The teams trained together to prepare, Kakashi and Gai.

With one of Gai's students, a Hyuuga, choosing to train his clan techniques, the two Jounin had decided to pool their time and knowledge to train their students together, a decision probably encouraged by Lee and Tenten's friendship with Naruto.

Gai would train them in the morning, paying special attention to Sakura in particular whom was, by far, the weakest in terms of physical strength, pushing the girl to her limits and past them.

Kakashi would train them in the evenings, also paying special attention to one of Gai's students, Tenten, who in terms of Ninjutsu variety was lacking to the point of non existence.

Maybe it was to repay Gai in kind. Maybe it was part of that inane contest the two had with each other.

It would be almost a week before Jiraiya walked into the picture.

Maybe he needed time to compose himself. Maybe he needed time to think of a training program for the remaining three weeks.

Either way, he entered Naruto's life with his typical flamboyant bombacity, marching into the training ground, striking up a conversation with Gai and Kakashi as the students trained and then loudly declaring that he'd whip one of these kids into shape better than either of the Jounin ever could.

It was a challenge Gai jumped into with enthusiasm. But Kakashi knew his motives and didn't protest when Jiraiya declared he would take the most "Hopeless" case, and pointed at Naruto.

Her boy protested at the description. Loudly. He was even more displeased at not being able to train anymore with Tenten and Lee. He said he didn't want to train with Jiraiya; more than once, even after Kakashi vouched for the man's skill.

Naruto simply valued his time with his friends more.

But in the end, Jiraiya, quite literally, dragged him away kicking and screaming.

And despite his protests and reluctance, Jiraiya, like his team before, was good for him.

She knew how the Toad sage taught. She knew his work ethic, typically, he gave you a concept, and watched you try and try at it and only if you'd seriously run against a wall would he take the time to point you in the right direction half way through.

He wasn't doing that with Naruto. He was putting in significantly more effort towards the training than she knew he typically would.

Was he trying to make up for time? Trying to impress her? Or was he trying to do right by her boy for once in Naruto's life now that he was here?

She didn't know. Maybe it was all three.

(X)(X)(X)

Then, the month is over and the genin are expected to fight for the clout and entertainment of their village.

It feels like it passed by in a blink. Too fast, too soon. She's not sure if he's ready.

She attends.

She hasn't attended a Chuunin exam in years, but there is a brimming anticipation, tingling just beneath her skin. Mikoto and Sasuke come too; they sit in the seats reserved for clan members, too far away to converse.

The battles are nothing remarkable by her standards, though for hopeful Chuunin, she supposed they were impressive enough.

Shika's boy is just like his dad: lazy as hell, but too damn smart by half.

Sakura fights against a kunoichi from Suna. One of the files she and other guards had received pegged her as the Kazekage's daughter.

Sakura loses, of course, but Kushina can recognize the effort she put into her training and the fact that, even just a handful of weeks ago, Temari wouldn't have been breathing as heavily as she was now to beat her.

Gaara, the youngest of the Kazekage's kids draws against his brother, and his brother forfeits.

Then, it's Naruto's turn.

She feels static leaping between the cage of her bones. Her heart is pumping ice and fire through her veins, and she can't help but lean forward against the railing trying to get closer if even by just a little bit.

He's up against the Hyuuga boy, a pale ghost against bright sunshine.

The fight starts, and she can't remember the proctor shouting for them to begin.

She feels sick watching it, her stomach doing flops in her gut, her hands gripping the railing. Every time Naruto looks like he's gaining some kind of edge, Neji comes out with a new trick, and every time she swears the fight's over, Naruto just gets back up again, refusing to give up.

She doesn't think she's ever felt more proud, but all the same, she doesn't think she's ever wished harder for her boy to just stay down.

When Neji seals his Tenketsu, she's sure it is over.

Stop hurting him. Stop!

The voice is hers in her mind, but not. Briefly she has a flash of Kakashi's face, years younger, shouting at her before it's gone.

"COME ON YOU IDIOT! PUNCH THAT GODDAMN HYUUGA'S FACE IN!"

She snaps her eyes up, and she sees Sasuke leaning against the railing, snarling down at the arena.

"KICK HIS ASS NARUTO!"

The voice is closer, Sakura's, his teammate.

"Don't give up."

That one even closer, quieter, she turns and sees Tenten sitting besides Lee, both looking down to the arena, more reserved in their hopes with their teammate being Naruto's opponent.

More voices join in. Some cheering for Neji. Others just cheering. But there are more. So many more cheering for him. The underdog. The one that shouldn't win.

Her little boy.

She doesn't recognize her voice at first. As she's swept up in the euphoria of the moment. Finding herself able to cheer. To give a voice of encouragement after years of keeping silent.

The sting in her eyes are tears she can't stop as she pours everything into calling out to him to win and for the first time in her life she feels a small modicum of what it would be like to be a normal mother, her voice swept up in the crowds so she doesn't have to fear, at least for the moment.

He looks like he lost when he finally wins.

Neji is standing over him, bleeding, bruised, his clothes torn. Naruto's given him a fight. But he's won.

Then her boy explodes from the ground and knocks him flat on his ass.

She screams at the top of her lungs, and either the people were too stunned to do the same or they were too shocked, but there's a moment, a fleeting moment before her cheer makes them react that her boy turns and looks straight at her.

She wants to pretend his smile was just for her when he waves at the cheering crowds.

(X)(X)(X)

He was alive, because of her.

It had been a moment. A fleeting shade that crossed her mind that said Let it happen.

Let. Him. Die.

She didn't want to think how hard it had been to ignore that voice.

Orochimaru's little wall had been cute. It's too bad she didn't exactly need to be on the other side of it to summon her chains to help Hiruzen.

She didn't know what he planned to do with those coffins, but whatever it was, she hadn't let him, using her chains to disrupt and seal away the chakra fueling the technique, Orochimaru needed to fight Hiruzen without that particular trump card. Whatever it was.

Even so, he wasn't a Sannin for nothing. The fight had been brutal, almost artistic even. With feints, traps, and tactics that made lesser Ninjas' head spin trying to work out what exactly had happened.

In the end. Orochimaru had been forced to retreat, all but carried by his four bodyguards.

And Hiruzen had been nearly killed through chakra exhaustion and injury.

He would live. People who knew what her chains looked like at work thanked her, praised her. Lauded her quick thinking and her protecting their precious Sarutobi.

She tried to listen to that, and not the sneering, horrid little voice in her mind that insisted she could have seen him dead just as easily.

He was bedridden when he told them all what they each already knew.

He needed a replacement. And he would choose Tsunade, or Jiraiya.

Some eyes turned to her, some voices raised to point her way. A perfectly viable, powerful candidate. Her dream once had been to be the Hokage.

Nara kept watching her throughout the whole thing, his eyes shrewd and calculating. Knowing that something was up, but unable to piece it together with so little information.

So close. So close she could reach out and just touch it. It would be so simple.

And yet…

She couldn't muster the strength to chase the dream, to add her voice to the growing chorus. Maybe somewhere she knew she was unfit. Maybe somewhere she knew she would take the job at this juncture for all the wrong, selfish reasons.

She didn't want the hat to protect the village.

At best, she wanted the hat because it was the fastest way to get her son back.

They turned to her, and she looked to Hiruzen, staring him dead in the eye.

He met her gaze.

For a long, interminable moment, they stood in silence.

"My preference," the Sandaime Hokage finally said, never looking away from her. "would be Jiraiya. Or Tsunade."

His word was the law.

(X)(X)(X)

It would take almost two months.

Two months before she would even see Tsunade in her role as the Hokage. Almost two months before she was called to the office.

She arrives, opens the door and she sees the woman that would be the leader of the village for the first time in almost twenty years.

Tsunade hasn't aged a day.

The Sannin looks at her, at first, serious, then her gaze softening as she finally recognizes her, standing from her desk and stepping around it to walk up to her.

Tsunade looks at her like a long lost family member. Taking hold of her hands, brushing fingers through her hair as she looks her over with solemn, saddened eyes.

"Considering… everything… you look good."

Kushina shrugs. The compliment is debatable. "Thanks. Not so bad yourself."

She gestures for her to sit. She does so. Tsunade leans against her desk, crossing her legs and arms.

"I read your file," she says. "All of it."

Kushina expected that. Tsunade was the Hokage now. She tries to convince herself she doesn't feel violated by someone else knowing the secret.

"Did you just want to let me know?"

Judging by how cross her voice is, she's not successful.

Tsunade's frown deepens. "Kushina… I'm the best medic in the world. Let me give you an examination. I'm sure what happened to you was a one-time thing. The condition is more common than you thi-"

"Know of many other mothers that cracked their newborn's cheekbone, do ya?"

There's pity in her eyes. Sadness. Forgiveness.

"I fucked up," she says. "I was never cut out to be a mother. He'd see that once the shine wears off."

"He's an amazing boy. And you're a good woman." Tsunade's tone is heartfelt, sincere. "If you tell him, if all of us tell him. Explain, he'll-"

"No." She shakes her head, and it occurs to her that just a month ago she'd been so tempted to take this seat to give this exact same order. Cold feet? Or was it just plain old cowardice?

"You can't keep this secret forever."

"Watch me."

They stare at each other, a contest of wills, and she has to wonder what happened during that mission. What did he do to get Tsunade so invested in him? Even at the best of times, the Sannin had been standoffish.

Finally, Tsunade sighs.

"Kushina… what do you know about an organization called the Akatsuki?"

(X)(X)(X)

Hunted.

He was being hunted.

Nine S-class Monsters. The worst the Shinobi world had ever produced. People strong enough to fight and defeat Jinchuuriki handily. They'd already captured two.

It filled her with a fresh, new fear as Tsunade spoke about them. Told her what little they knew.

Itachi was a member, the young, teenage Konoha ninja who had wiped out his own clan.

Mikoto's son was hunting hers.

The moon was close, large in the night sky. It cast everything in a cold light when they came to her.

"I'm taking him with me."

She turns. Jiraiya is there… with someone else.

She faces them fully, staring down the old man that had helped and hurt her so much throughout their lives.

"You haven't left the village in years," she says.

The lines of his face are deep, carved into his flesh. He wears every year. His smile is sad.

He gestures to Jiraiya, and her one-time Sensei turns and walks away, leaving them standing in the privacy of the empty Uchiha district.

"It is… all I can offer anymore." Sarutobi's voice is soft, almost quiet. "My teachings have always been my greatest gift… as a leader I have-" He pauses, as though measuring his words. "-made mistakes. Many of them. Some I can never take back, a few I can only try to correct."

He steps closer. There's a limp to his step. He's using a cane.

Her Hokage has gotten old somewhere along the way.

She feels her heart soften just the slightest bit.

He reaches out for her hand, and she decides to give it, holding old, calloused fingers in her grip. He brushes his thumb along the back of her knuckles.

"We may not see each other again," he admits, and it's the first time in many years that she feels she's speaking to Hiruzen… not the Hokage.

"But he will be back. I promise you. And… he will be ready.

There's something he's saying and not… she feels her heart stutter in her chest, her breath catch.

"But you must be too." He pats her hand, before bringing it up to kiss the back of it.

He lets go and walks away with a promise.

"I will correct my mistakes." 

Jiraiya, Hiruzen, and Naruto leave that very night.

The moon is close, it hangs low in the sky. She's not sure how long she stands there after they leave.

When she turns back to walk to her home, she finds Mikoto standing at the doorway. Waiting for her.

She steps closer reaching the door, she hugs her. Fingers curling into the fabric of her clothes and the long dark hair as Mikoto hugs her back.

Sometimes… Kushina feels like this woman is the only thing holding her together. .

(X)(X)(X)

And we've reached the end of the fast paced chapters. I have reached the stage of canon I wished to reach. So next three or so chapters will have a much more sedate measured pacing. Hope you enjoy :)


	5. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4:**_

"Get your feet off of my damn desk."

The thump of her hand smacking against a pair of heavy boots bounced off the walls, and Sasuke's pained laugh as her strength made itself known again almost cut through her annoyance with the subsequent amusement.

"Whatever happened to those days you had a crush on me, Sakura? They seemed far less painful."

"You were far less annoying," she answered with a smirk, shooing him away from her chair and taking it herself as he took a guest seat. "I swear, it's like you're trying to make up for Naruto."

"You've been saying that for years."

"Because you've been doing it for years!" She shot back.

"Speaking of, did you get your cut this month?"

The 'cut,' as it was called, were Naruto's letters.

Every two months, without fail, Naruto would write to each of them, sending the missives with Jiraiya's reports to Tsunade. One for Lee, Tenten, Shino, Sasuke and herself.

They couldn't write back of course, a fact that they each detested to varying degrees. But Naruto did not fail to send his collection of letters every two months regardless.

They called it a 'cut' because it was as though Naruto was determined to do things in the months between letters that he could write to each of them about. Things that would catch their interest in the reading, or ideas that would intrigue them. Be it a training method that might help Lee, sealing talks with Tenten that were excerpts from Jiraiya, talks about different places he'd seen and different foods they'd tasted with Sasuke. He even sent back books on insects of the areas and their various poisons to Shino. Hell, he even went into detail about the libraries he'd visited in the letters to Sakura.

A part of them wondered if some of these stories were embellishments since the thought of Naruto ever willingly stepping foot into a library was enough to knock someone flat on their asses with laughter at the absurdity. But a big part of them wanted to believe every word and hoped he was having as much fun as he said he was.

It became a bit of a game between them, the nexus of five close friends Naruto chose to write to. Sharing the little anecdotes and piecing together which letter he wrote first and what happened later. Sasuke had even started a bit of a hobby in cartography, mapping out the route Naruto, Jiraiya, and Hiruzen had traveled based on what Naruto told them in their letters.

They'd gone everywhere from Suna, to Kiri, Kumo and all the minor stops in between, never staying in one place for more than a week. The only place they gave a wide berth to was Iwa; for obvious reasons.

Soon they'd be coming back. And that thought made her and the others smile happily when it came. He'd already sent word that Jiraiya and himself were turning to the road home.

He wasn't sure when they would arrive. He wasn't sure how many more stops they had left to make on their strange traveling schedule.

But he was finally coming home after four long years.

She'd missed him. All of his friends had missed him.

Still; there was one thing Sakura simply couldn't wrap her head around though.

Sandaime-sama.

It was one thing to be 'close' to Naruto, and god knew that her wandering teammate's dream was to be Hokage and if anyone should have a dream within reach it was the big ball of sunshine and color that was Naruto.

But for Hiruzen's "last act" so to speak, as a Shinobi, to train Naruto specifically…

It just didn't add up to her. If he wanted an apprentice he could have picked anyone. Absolutely anyone in the village would have fallen on their hands and knees in gratitude at the privilege, prodigies like Sasuke and Neji would have been easier; would have taken the teachings like a sponge soaking up water. But Sandaime-sama had chosen Naruto who already had Jiraiya-sama as a teacher.

That… pooling of knowledge and power, massively invested in Naruto… it just didn't add up. Tenten agreed with her when she pointed it out. Lee suggested that Naruto simply inspired loyalty-and he did-but this just didn't make sense. Shino shrugged off the question, stating that Sandaime-sama's mind and motivations were his own.

"Hey Sasuke-"

"How's Noriko?"

She blinked stupidly, not understanding the question for a moment before she remembered. "Oh. Right. Your cousin that came in with strep cough."

He nodded. "Under observation for a few days now."

"The fever took a while to break," she said, recalling the case as she stood up, walking over towards her filing cabinet. "It's down now; we're just waiting for the antibiotics to run through her system before we release her. Two days tops."

She pulled the file, waving it in the air. While he wasn't immediate family, as the heir to the clan he had the right to the knowledge.

He shrugged, and she noticed his feet back up on her desk. "I trust you."

"Thanks," she said sincerely. "But if I get back to my desk and appendages are resting atop it, be prepared to lose them."

She gave a self satisfied smirk he couldn't see as she heard the thump of his boots on the hardwood.

Placing the file back into its proper archive, she walked back to Sasuke.

Looking at the Uchiha she'd had a crush on back when they were kids, Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Something up?"

The question was rhetorical. She knew him well enough to know when he had something on his mind.

Sasuke sighed, and then… glared at her?

"Before I get into this I wanna make it very clear that I don't want you laughing, or any of the shit that typically comes up with the subject. I'm being one hundred percent serious here."

Her eyes boggled, curious and utterly confused.

He sighed again, pressing a thumb and forefinger to the bridge of his nose. "I'm pretty sure my mom and aunt are hiding something."

Oh…

Ohhhhhh.

Now she could see where he was coming from and he was right, she had to stifle her giggles.

When _Kiba_ had been the one to point out how _close_ the Lady Mikoto was to the Lady Kushina (because of course it'd been him, lecherous dog), Sasuke had proceeded to utterly beat the crap out of him and anyone who even brought up the idea that his mother and aunt figure could be a bit more serious than just "good friends."

It had taken a lot of subtle and sometimes _blatant_ signs to get him to accept it, but finally he'd thrown in the proverbial towel when he came home after a mission to find the two asleep in the same bed, the door open because neither had been expecting him.

She was fairly sure he would have gouged his eyes out if he had caught anything other than 'sleeping'.

She liked to think she would have been able to handle it with a tad bit more poise and grace if she'd been in his position.

Then again, wrapping your head around the fact that your mom swung both ways might throw anyone for a loop, so she wasn't eager to test her theory.

It was a subject that Kiba, she, and a few others used to poke fun at him a bit every now and again. His adamant refusal to even consider the idea before it was literally shoved in his face was absolutely hilarious in hindsight.

She giggled.

If looks could kill.

Sasuke stood up. "Forget i-"

"No, no!" she pleaded, trying to smother her smile as she reached across her desk and took his hand, urging him to sit back down. "I promise I'm taking this seriously. I know it has to be if you're the one bringing it up."

Sasuke sighed through his nostrils, huffing once before he settled back down in his seat.

Then, a thought occurred to Sakura. "Hey. Wait. Why are you bringing this up with me? Why not Hinata?" Hinata was always more reserved in her laughter in comparison to everyone, and Sasuke's trust in the Hyuuga girl that had been his Genin teammate next to Kiba was infamous.

Ironic that the girl that had never been chasing this particular prize was the one to snag him, really.

"Hinata would listen… with her Byakugan she could even 'look' at them and see if something was really wrong, but you know her." Sasuke shrugged. "She'd either try to spare my feelings or coat the truth and… I'm honestly worried." He said scratching at the back of his neck. A nervous tick he'd picked up from Naruto that had never left him.

"Well… what is it?"

"Mom and Kushina have both been acting very very strange."

"Maybe they're gonna announce a wedding?"

Sasuke's glare turned to ice.

"No- I'm actually being completely serious," she defended, holding up her hands.

He rolled his eyes and shook his head. "No. No that's not it… you… Kushina… she's always been very sad. You know?"

She did.

She hadn't interacted with the red haired woman much in her youth. She saw her more these days as one of the more prominent medics in the hospital under Tsunade.

But even back then, even when Kushina smiled and made polite conversation whenever she or the team ran into her or met her at an event like the celebration they'd thrown for Sasuke reaching Jounin, the forlorn sort of melancholy that lingered somewhere behind her eyes was a hard thing to ever forget once you noticed it.

Her medical history showed signs of a pregnancy. Given that there was no child, Sakura could only assume it had died at childbirth, or perhaps more cruelly, killed in some accident.

Not that she had any right to tell that to Sasuke.

She offered a nod.

Sasuke seemed to be grasping at the words, struggling for them. "She had this look in her eye the other day… it reminded me of… of mom whenever she thinks about Itachi."

Okay. Now they were entering into some really dark waters. Itachi was the subject one never brought up around Sasuke. Not even Hinata, as far as anyone knew, had been able to breach this particular talk.

"She was looking at this old picture," he continued. "I can hear her and mom talking only for the conversation to die as soon as I walk into the room. She goes on these walks through the village and…" He trailed off. "Look. I know it's confidential, but did something _happen_ to my aunt during a mission recently or something? I'm really starting to get worried because this just seems to be getting worse."

"I couldn't tell you even if it did!" Sakura protested. "You're 'like a son to her' Sasuke, but legally, you're nowhere near her son. And unless she marries your mom she's not part of the clan. So the only person that can access her medical records in case of an emergency is her appointed contact and that's your mom, not you."

He sighed, head falling down before he ran a hand through his hair. "I think… she may have actually seen Itachi or something… it's the only thing I can think of and she just doesn't wanna tell me."

"Why do you think that?"

"Like I said, they stop talking when I walk into a room, she's looking at a picture like she's remembering a ghost, she-"

"What was the picture?"

He paused. "Oh. An old photo of me and Naruto after we passed the Genin exam. Mom took it. She's looking at me like I'm going to disappear."

"So you think Itachi?"

"I think that _they think_ if they tell me I'll go flying off the handle and get myself killed," he clarified. "At this point, the only thing that's stopping me from asking is the risk of sticking my foot in my mouth and making mom remember Itachi, if they weren't actually doing that, but I don't know what else it could be."

She nodded. "Well… I'm not sure what help I can give from here, but I'll keep an eye out for Lady Kushina and your mom if either of them have to come to the hospital. I may not tell you anything, but I promise I'll take care of them as best I can."

He nodded and shrugged. "You've never done anything less."

"Compliments?" she gasped. "From Uchiha Sasuke?! I'll have to mark down the date."

"That's the last one for the month. Looks like Kiba is gonna hear how much he sucks tomorrow."

She giggled.

(X)(X)(X)

Days later, Sakura found herself nervous. Tsunade-sama had summoned the lead medics of the hospital: herself, Shizune, and seven others. While Tsunade-sama was the head of Konoha's medics as a whole, it was foolish to believe she had the time to run the day to day.

She entrusted the lead medics to run their section of the hospital/medical personnel in her absence and to allow only the most desperate and critical of cases to draw her away from managing the village affairs.

As far as she knew, in the four, going on five years of Tsunade's reign as Hokage she'd only ever drawn the group of medics together once, when she expanded their number from one to ten, essentially forming the group and assigning them each their individual responsibilities.

Either this was going to be a very good day and she was worrying for nothing., or things were about to get significantly more complicated.

When Tsunade entered the conference room flanked by four Anbu guards, Sakura had the feeling it wasn't going to be a very good day.

"Time is short-" the Hokage said, still walking towards her seat, not even looking towards them. "-so I'll cut right to it. We've received word that the village will be under attack very soon."

There were a series of murmurs. A spike of worry and fear shot through her. It shot through all of them, but they were each ninja in their own right and each of them rallied quickly.

"When can we expect this attack, Hokage-sama?"

"That I can't say. We know it's coming, and it's coming soon, possibly within the next month. The severity of it, I can't say either. As such, I want all of you to prepare for the worst. Dust off the emergency protocols. All of the staff under you must be drilled and know where to go and what to do. No exceptions. I won't have people die because our medics didn't know what safe zones they could run to to treat our wounded."

Tsunade's voice was like steel. Gone was Sakura's master and sensei, replaced by a cold, harsh village leader.

"I believe it goes without saying that this is considered top secret. Word does not leave this room. Prepare your staff, stockpile medications, anesthetics, blood for transfusions and everything else we need, but do so _quietly_. Understood?"

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

She was a split second too slow to join the chorus, her voice audible as the others finished and she trailed behind.

Tsunade panned her eyes over the room. Nodding once. "You're dismissed. Shizune, Sakura, stay." Each of the medics nodded, bowing in respect as they stood from their seats and began filing out of the room.

Tsunade waited for the group to finish exiting, closing the door behind them. Sakura watched from her seat as an Anbu by the door applied a seal over the doorway.

"The two of you will need to be especially careful," the Godaime said slowly, leaning forward to rest her elbows on the table. "The attack is coming from none other than the Akatsuki."

Sakura sucked down a sharp breath, her heart stuttering in its beat in her chest.

The mission to save the Kazekage had barely been a year ago now. They'd almost failed. Even with four Jounin, six Chuunin, and all the aid Sunagakure had sent their way in the form of Chiyo and a team of Anbu, they'd all almost died against just _two_ of those monsters.

If they were coming here…

"Who are they after?"

She blurted the words out before she could think to stop herself. But as soon as she said it her mind started running a mile a minute.

The Akatsuki were after Jinchuuriki. That was their goal. That's why they went to Suna, why reports were roaming around about them in Kumo having captured the Nibi.

There was a Jinchuuriki here. The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki. It had to be. They'd already picked off all of the 'easy' targets from what she'd heard. The Sanbi, Yonbi, Gobi, Nibi. Only a handful of others remained. Even with Sasori dead the organization was hardly diminished.

Two had been enough to knock Suna on its ass… If they pooled their resources and attacked here all at once…

"We have to evacuate whoever it is," she said, thinking aloud, not even looking at Tsunade or Shizune at this point.

If they could just hide him, keep him away, then even if Akatsuki won they would be denied what they were looking for. The thought of the Kyuubi no Yoko in their hands was not a thought she wanted to entertain for very long.

"Your responsibility is to treat the injured, Sakura. Let me worry about that," Tsunade said, her voice bringing the kunoichi out of her own thoughts and back to the present. "The both of you are the best medics I have available if I am incapacitated or unable to treat people during or after the fight. That means that the both of you _must_ keep yourselves out of direct combat as much as possible. If all three of us are unavailable to heal, we're going to have a lot more casualties. _That_ is your responsibility. The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki is mine."

Sakura nodded woodenly, forcing her head to move, up, down, up and down again.

She felt queasy, she could feel the tingle on her cheeks that told her the blood had drained from her face and it was a struggle to keep her hands from shaking.

"Go on, Sakura." Tsunade sighed. "We'll talk a bit more later."

A part of her bristled at the wound in her pride that Tsunade thought she was falling apart.

A larger part of her recognized that she was in fact, on the verge of falling apart and was grateful for Tsunade's thoughtfulness.

(X)(X)(X)

It took her almost an hour to fully calm down, to stop the numerous potential disasters from rushing through her mind over and over again. To shove away the image of Sasori's cold inhuman gaze, and the pounding of her own heart in fear-fueled adrenaline out of her thoughts. To wash her face, take a deep breath and put her proverbial gameface on.

By the time she got to the hospital and started barking orders to the men and women under her command, she felt like the young woman she always was. Smart, strong and on top of the situation.

Fake it til you make it and all that.

By the time she'd concluded the first few hours of these 'preparations' and was ready to go home, she already had full stock of their available medical supplies, available staff, had requisitioned a list of the men and women assigned to defend the hospital in a village attack, and had discreetly filed a request to be informed of the nearby non-classified Anbu safe house entrances to be used in case they were really hard-pressed.

It was at home, though, that she felt the worry gnawing at her gut, twisting her into knots.

She couldn't sleep. She kept pacing her rooms, biting on the fingernail of her thumb, a disgusting habit she'd picked up somewhere along the way and couldn't shake.

If the reports were true, the Akatsuki consisted of nine members, and they were each as strong as Sasori, her sole experience fighting S-class Shinobi. The mental math did not look good. To just take down two of them, they'd needed over a dozen people, most of them Jounin. If all nine came here at once, their casualties in the best case scenario could number in the hundreds. Deidara, the one that Kakashi, Sasuke, and Shino had fought, used explosives like others used kunai. Itachi had butchered over two hundred people in the span of a few hours.

Right now they only had one, at best three Shinobi that could go toe to toe with an S class by themselves in the village. Tsunade, and _maybe_ Kakashi and Gai. And the last two were a toss up at best.

Her only consolation in all of this was that Jiraiya, Naruto, and Sandaime-sama would-

She went completely still.

It hit her like a lightning bolt.

That's why he went…

 _This_ was why Sandaime-sama went with them…

Then that meant-

She swayed where she stood, and her hand fumbled for the bed post that wasn't where it was supposed to be. Her legs gave out, and she fell on her ass, hitting the bed and nearly sliding right off with how close to the edge she was.

Her mind tried to think back.

Was there something? Was there some sign, some _clue_ she'd missed? There must have been something there that she could have seen when they were kids.

All she could remember was his… his stupid, goofy smile. That smile that could light up the room.

It seemed wrong, twisted that someone she remembered as one of the sweetest of their classmates had… a monster inside him.

Did the others know? Did they even suspect? If they didn't, should she tell them what she suspected?

She didn't come up with an answer that night, and sleep was so elusive she had to drug herself to at least get some measure of rest before the emergency preparations had to be overseen tomorrow.

(X)(X)(X)

She did her work like a machine, her body moving with little input from a mind wholly distracted by a million and one thoughts.

She didn't stop. She didn't _allow_ herself to stop. Even as the questions churned with ever increasing urgency and dominance over her thoughts. She kept working and preparing everything she could for the defense of the village, and Naruto.

Finally, at the third day, there was nothing left. Every last emergency protocol had been seen to, everything was as ready as she could make it and her own mind wouldn't let her put off these questions anymore.

She didn't know who to turn to, who to share this with. Shino was her first choice. He was Naruto's teammate right next to her, and he had the envious ability to truly and completely step back from something and observe it with wholly new eyes when a new piece of information challenged his previous conclusions.

Sasuke was her second thought. Of their class, he was Naruto's closest friend. The one that gave the blond half a damn when everyone else wrote him off. Surely, if she could talk to, or Naruto had talked to anyone about this, it would be him.

Her feet carried her through the village, her mind hardly registering where the hell she was going.

When she finally looked up she was standing in front of a shop.

She walked in.

"Welcome to- Oh! Hey Sakura!"

Tenten smiled at her, leaning on the counter. "What's up? Been a-"

Tenten trailed off. Sakura knew she wasn't hiding her emotions very well, if at all, and the look of worry that passed over Tenten's face reflected such.

The bun-haired girl stepped around her counter, walking past Sakura, flipping the sign on the door to closed and locking it.

Tenten stood in front of her, barely half an inch taller than Sakura but, to the pinkette's eyes, she felt like a small child standing in front of an older sibling.

"Okay. Whatever happened, just tell me about it and let's get to fixing it, alright?"

Sakura wasn't sure what she wanted to say, but the question that literally spilled out of her mouth had not been what she'd thought of when she first marched in here.

"Are you Naruto's oldest friend?"

Tenten reeled, visibly taken aback by the question.

"Wha-"

"Are you Naruto's oldest friend?!" she demanded, needing to hear this. To hear her say it.

Tenten nodded, and Sakura hadn't even noticed when the girl's hands had fallen on her shoulders. "I am. Now what's going on, and what does this have to do with Naruto?"

"I…"

Her throat closed up.

It was almost a physical sensation, her whole airway swelling, the muscles bunching together until she felt she couldn't breathe as the words she hadn't spoken aloud even in the privacy of her own home seemed to be too big to pass through her lips.

"Sakura, _talk _to me! What's wrong with Naruto?!"

She pressed her lips together, suddenly shaking her head. She couldn't do this. As much as she wanted to, _needed_ to speak to someone within their group of friends, she could not give away _his_ secret. She had no right.

Tenten looked at her, leaning closer and staring at her with chocolate brown eyes.

Sakura turned to leave.

She was reminded instantly why Tenten was the only Kunoichi that could survive Gai's training.

Before Sakura had even blinked Tenten spun her back around, shoving her into a chair she'd yanked from somewhere, slamming Sakura into it and leaning over her.

"Uh-uh." The weapon mistress looked angry. "You're _not_ walking in here, saying this and then walking out and leaving **me **like a worried mess for the rest of the _month_. Now tell me what the hell happened to Naruto! What did he do!?"

"He didn't do anything!" she answered, her voice not quite a shout, but not quiet either.

But Tenten wasn't letting her go, and Sakura felt as though all her training under Tsunade had just flatly abandoned her in the moment. Intellectually, she _knew_ she was physically stronger than Tenten by miles but right now…

Her head fell forward, pink hair cascading down to shade her face.

"I… I think Naruto's a Jinchuuriki… like Gaara-san from Suna."

She heard the breath Tenten sucked through her teeth, the girl's hands releasing her shoulders like a red-hot brand.

Sakura stared at Tenten's shoes, watching the weapon mistress lingering in front of her, seemingly frozen stiff.

Then-

"How did you find out?"

Sakura's eyes snapped up towards Tenten blinking through her tears and staring into a face that was surprised and sombre in equal measure.

But absent was the simple shock that had hit Sakura like a train.

"Y-you _**knew**_?!" She shouted, rising to her feet, a feeling of hurt betrayal ripping through her chest stemming from _both_ Naruto and the kunoichi infront of her.

Tenten took a long, slow breath through her nostrils, seemingly steeling her nerves as she burned away the emotions on her features and replaced it with a hard sternness.

"Let's talk, Sakura."

(X)(X)(X)

Minutes later, they were sitting in Tenten's kitchen in her home just behind the shop. Needless to say, it was closed for the day.

A pot of warm tea sat between the two, gentle wisps of smoke trailing up from their cups.

"He… told you?" Sakura had to ask, searching for verification to what Tenten had just said.

Gai's student nodded, taking another sip of her tea. "Yeah."

"When?" she demanded next, feeling the dull ache of hurt. Tenten may have been Naruto's first friend, but… he was _her_ teammate. Didn't he trust her? Or Shino?

Did Shino know?!

Tenten sighed, leaning forward to place her arms on the table. "Do you know how I met Naruto, Sakura?"

She shook her head, wondering where this was going, but knowing that she should not interrupt.

"There was this old lady," Tenten continued. "She would come by the park every Tuesday and Thursday. She'd sell all the kids sweets, only charging us enough to cover the expense of the cookie. Never looking to make a profit. We all loved that old lady."

She took a sip of her tea. "And then. One day I notice that there's this little kid. Every time the old lady sells her cookies, no matter how much that kid tries to get her attention, she always sells to him last. It never. Fucking. Failed. She would sell to him last just so she could try to make it seem she ran out before she could get to him. If she had one left, she'd sell to him. So one fine day, nosy little twerp that I am, I ask her _why_."

Tenten shook her head. "You should have _seen_ the look on that lady's face, Sakura. It was just for a second. A split second of nothing that passed so quick you could shrug it off like your mind playing tricks on you. But I know what I saw. That look of just _pure loathing_ on that woman's face. It stuck with me. Like a movie playing over and over again in my head."

Sakura looked down into her teacup, the wisps of smoke barely rising now, cooling as it was.

"I didn't know why, I didn't know how. The lady told me she just forgets things in her old age, and she kept coming back every Tuesday and Thursday. But I decided right then and there that I wasn't gonna let him talk with that old woman again. Not if she looked at him like that behind that smile of hers. So whenever she showed up, I'd buy two cookies. One for me, and one for Naruto." She smiled, a wisp of fond longing at the memory. "He smiled so wide when I gave it to him the first time, and when I asked if he wanted to be friends he looked like sunshine got caught in a bottle."

"But when did he tell you?" Sakura insisted.

"The point I'm getting at, Sakura, is that I always _knew_ , for as long as I could remember that _something_ was different. _Something_ was up. And no one, not the adults, not the academy sensei. _No one_ was telling us or Naruto what the hell was wrong."

"He didn't know either?" She asked with a creeping sense of horror. That seemed… unimaginably cruel.

"He didn't." Tenten shook her head. "He found out just a few days before I did. I was… thirteen? Fourteen?" She shrugged. "Sandaime-sama told him the day he graduated the academy. He knew Naruto was going to be moulding chakra, and he might stumble on it anyway so he couldn't hide it any more or risk something a lot worse happening later."

"And that's when he told you?" That soothed the hurt a little bit. By that point, they hadn't even formed a team yet. Much less would he have a reason to trust her.

Tenten shook her head. "Not… that day." She took a deep breath. "I heard he graduated. And passed the genin exam. By that point it'd been _months_ since I'd really seen him. I wanted to see how he was doing, especially after he graduated. Figured I'd treat him to ramen. He was always easy to please." Another smile, a chuckle somewhere in her throat.

"I tried to get Lee on board but he was firmly in the 'transforming into mini-Gai' phase so he was out and I decided to go alone. I looked _everywhere_ for him. I thought for sure he would be either in his apartment, Ichiraku's, the training grounds, or the monument. All his favorite haunts but he was completely gone."

Tenten's eyes grew sad, her thumb rubbing the rim of her teacup.

For a long moment, she was silent and Sakura felt like the already serious conversation was going to take a darker turn.

"Not sure how I found him. Don't even remember heading outside the village, but apparently I did." She sniffed and Sakura could see her forcing the tears down, her face a rictus of determined anger to not let herself cry. "He'd packed a bag, Sakura."

Sakura felt her heart drop into a pit.

"Passing the genin exam, passing the test with you guys and Kakashi. It didn't matter. All he had stuck in his head for days was… the goddamn Sandaime. Telling him 'Hey, lied to you for years, but it was for the good of the village. Want you to know you're my personal hero. Now, go on and be a productive fucking citizen.'" She snorted, and it was the first time in Sakura's life she could recall anyone speaking of the venerable Sandaime with such derision.

"Tenten." The admonishment was more reflex than thought.

Her fellow Kunoichi snorted again. "Man may have been a good Hokage, but he's a shit grandfather figure." She downed the rest of her tea, looking like she was wishing it was sake instead.

Sakura's eyes trailed back down to the table. "I never noticed. This happened during the genin exam and the test? He just… he seemed so-"

"Naruto?" Tenten finished for her. Sakura nodded.

Tenten looked down to her cup. "Yeah. He would. He got really good at staying _Naruto_ no matter how sad he was. It's hard to tell the difference. Even for me. And I know enough to at least try to look for it."

"What did you tell him? To get him to stay?" she asked, leaning forward. She hadn't noticed when her heart started beating a little faster, too invested in this story that she'd never had even an inkling about before today.

"I can't even remember." Tenten half scoffed, half laughed. "I saw the bag, and I just saw red. Hell. I saw red, blue, green and all the goddamn colors of the freaking rainbow. He was my friend. I still thought of him as my best friend after not seeing him for months and he was leaving without a word. What the hell didn't I say to him? Then he wouldn't tell me why he was leaving and I just… I just started bawling my goddamn eyes out." She laughed with another sniff, and this time it seemed like she couldn't quite hold back the tears as she wiped her eyes.

"Let me tell ya something," she continued with another laugh. "If you think punching Naruto a good few times gets him to do something, turn on the water works." She smiled, that same small smile that she'd made a few times at the fond memories. "I've never seen Naruto so frantic to try and make things right. I don't think anything else would have convinced him Not even if I'd threatened to cut off our friendship, would it have gotten him to actually tell me about the Kyuubi. He was so _terrified_ I'd turn around and start treating him like everyone else. Hell. I could see his point even then. There was this wolf masked Anbu I caught hiding that was probably just waiting for him to try to run to make up some bogus charge or something."

"And you kept that secret for all these years!" Sakura balked. "It was a week and I was already falling apart!"

"I was a kid, Sakura." Tenten shrugged. "I knew, intellectually what the Kyuubi was. But I haven't seen it. I don't remember it. All we've got are old ink paintings and murals. I could never see Naruto as anything other than Naruto. And as I got older and the full implications really started to hit me with Gaara in the exams and how crazy he was and now with the Akatsuki in that last mission… he's still Naruto. And come hell, shit, high waters, or a red-cloud-wearing boy band, he's still Naruto and that's all there ever is to it." she said firmly.

Then she glared at Sakura.

"Does it change anything for _you_ , Haruno?"

Instantly, Sakura shook her head. Even without the warning in Tenten's tone, she would have. "No. Never."

"Good." Tenten nodded.

"It's just-" The glare returned and Sakura hated the big mouth that seemed to be competing with her forehead.

It was a secret. Something that couldn't be told to the general public. Hell, even the medics besides herself and Shizune didn't know.

But… they had to know. Naruto's friends had to understand the stakes when the Akatsuki arrived.

 _I'm so going to lose my goddamn job._

(X)(X)(X)

You know that moment you're just going along, taking your scenes where they need to go, then the scene decides it doesn't like the route your taking, it tasers you locks you in the trunk of your vehicle and proceeds to drive itself to wherever the hell it decides to go while you're trapped in the trunk?

Yeah. That kinda happened here. This scene was supposed to end in a completely different place. Sakura wasn't even going to see Tenten when said episode of scene throwing me into the trunk happened and Tenten stole the show a bit with this out of the blue backstory that hit me like a lightning bolt.

So yeah, looks like this fic has been extended for one extra chapter or so. I hope you all enjoyed it. This thing really did spring out of the ether fully formed xD.


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5:**

Sasuke Uchiha was considered to be a prodigy by many: his peers, his superiors, and younger, fresh academy students who had heard his name. By all accounts, he was a veritable genius when it came to the Shinobi profession, already stronger at his young age than at least seventy percent of the Jounin in the village, including Hyuuga Neji, though their rivalry for that prestige was fierce and had them banned from sharing a training ground ever again.

That praise wasn't just given to him either. He worked hard for his gains, and every victory he achieved and goal he met was brought on by a sheer drive to succeed. Despite his status as clan heir, no one _gave_ him anything, something he was self-aware enough to know came from Aunt Kushina making sure his mother never went too far in her coddling of her last remaining son.

As such, he prided himself on both his physical and mental capabilities. When someone gave him a problem, he worked on analyzing and solving it efficiently.

He tried to apply that same work ethic here… sitting in what was _his_ living room, in _his_ apartment that was still stacked with boxes that hadn't been unpacked yet, staring at Sakura and Tenten.

He licked his suddenly dry lips, mulling over his thoughts.

"I see."

Tenten snorted. "You're worse than Shino."

"You told him too?" Sasuke asked, raising an eyebrow and feeling a little insulted, to be honest. Personally, he almost considered Naruto to be family. An idiot, hyperactive, sometimes annoying family member whom he could deal with in small doses, but family nevertheless. "And Lee?" He raised an eyebrow at the sudden thought. "Wait. Am I the _last_ you guys told?"

Sakura at least had the decency to look apologetic.

"Why was I last?" he insisted, indignant.

"Ummm well..." Sakura admitted. "Lee-kun was at the training grounds with Tenten when I got off work… and I knew where Shino-kun lived. We… kinda had to go find your address again."

Sasuke brought his hand up, fingers pressing into the bridge of his nose. "Alright…" he muttered slowly. "I can accept that. How the hell did they take it?"

"Lee started crying," Tenten answered in complete deadpan. "Then he started hugging me and Sakura vowing that he would throw a hero's parade when Naruto returned… I'm not sure how he's actually going to _do_ that while also fulfilling his vow to keep it a secret to take to the grave. Or where he'll get the people, but… yeah." The weapon mistress shrugged. "Shino, I think we just confirmed a lot of suspicions that he was already holding. With those Kikaichu he knew better than almost all of us that something was seriously strange about Naruto's chakra, and not just the sheer volume of it."

Sasuke nodded. That made sense actually. That was similar to what was going through his mind right now. A lot of disparities, big and small, suddenly clicking into place, making sense. The missing center of the puzzle finally appearing and making everything else have its place around it. He wasn't sure if it was some sort of empathy, pity, or guilt he was feeling at the thought of his blond friend at the moment, so he flatly shoved those feelings aside to be dealt with never and did what he did best.

Focus on the problem. Solve the problem.

"And Akatsuki is coming here for him soon?" he asked, leaning forward, elbows against his knees, glaring at a spot on the floor.

"Y-yeah."

The stutter in Sakura's voice was not lost on him.

"Don't worry." he reassured, or tried to. "I'm not focusing on Itachi. Frankly, he can go die in a ditch right now far as I care. I'm just thinking that now that we _know_ what's coming, and we _know_ who they're after-"

"We can get ready." Tenten finished for him.

He nodded. "We each have unique skills. The Akatsuki may be individually strong, but just like Sasori, various skills brought together in just the right way can bring them down."

"What're you thinking?"

His lips pursed. "Come here the day after tomorrow. Six PM. Tell Shino and Lee too. I'll see what I can dig up about what little we know on the remaining Akatsuki. See if we can come up with counters to them. Or at the very least prepare in some way."

The two Kunoichi shared a look, then nodded, agreeing with him. They had at least, a goal now, short-term as it was.

He looked around his still spartan apartment. "Alright. Well, not to be a dick, but this little diversion has stalled my afternoon unpacking plans… and probably tomorrow's unpacking plans so I'm going to make myself dinner and wish you both a good night as I see you to the door," he said bluntly.

"Nice to see you'll always be an ass, Uchiha." Tenten chuckled, pushing off the wall she was leaning against and walking to the door.

Again, Sakura had the decency to look at least a little apologetic. "Sorry for dropping by unannounced, Sasuke."

"Don't be," he muttered, and he meant it, inconvenience aside. "This is more important than unpacking."

Sakura offered a smile and a wave as she made it to the door, he offered a nod before shutting it. Counting backwards from ten, he tried to organize his thoughts and consider a plan of action to actually gather this intelligence in so short a time and pool it all in a way that would be considered _coherent_.

Forget unpacking plans. Those were out the window, along with his day off and, likely, most of the following day before the agreed-on time rolled around.

The blond idiot wasn't even _here_ and he was mucking up his day off so they could protect his sorry ass.

Typical.

(X)(X)(X)

The next day was a nightmare, and the following one little better. Using all of his favors and a bit of his own leverage and rank, he managed to scrounge up, as far as he could tell, 'all' that was known about the Akatsuki. Which was barely enough to fill up a single, large manila folder that he stored in a scroll and sealed with an Uchiha locking seal, the only seal he knew how to make on his own.

The Akatsuki were S class, and the knowledge of them was of a similar vein. If word of how much Konoha did or didn't know about their enemies got out, it could be incredibly dangerous for any number of reasons.

By the time five o'clock rolled around he was tired, hungry, irritated, and glowering at the world. Reaching his apartment that still had towers of boxes around every corner didn't help. But even so, he wasted no time and got to work as quickly as he could. Forming two shadow clones, he moved the boxes to block out the view from his windows, moved the furniture around to accommodate the space they'd need, and made himself a microwaved meal that tasted like salt and heart disease.

There was a knock at the door.

"Come in, Aburame," he shouted, not even bothering to look away from the papers he was arranging into some semblance of order.

The door opened, creaking slowly. He heard footsteps, then the door shut, and Shino was looming over the expanse of his cluttered living room.

"You have been busy, Uchiha-san."

Sasuke snorted, not looking up from his papers. "Water in the fridge. No food. Sit and wait, or help."

Shino nodded, walking closer to his dining room chair and taking a seat.

"Sakura-san, Lee-san, and Tenten-san are each on their way. I expect Tenten will arrive first, Sakura three minutes and seventeen seconds after, and Rock Lee is currently lost. Three city blocks to the north."

Sasuke offered a grunt and a nod of thanks at the information.

(X)(X)(X)

About forty minutes later, the five of them were gathered in his still largely unfurnished living room. Shino and Tenten had commandeered his dining room chairs, Lee was sitting on the floor and Sakura on a stool, with each of them poring over all of the information, underlining notes and important passages.

The sun was already setting, casting an orange glow across his apartment before their first picture was on the board.

"Okay…" He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "People we know for sure are a part of the organization: Uchiha Itachi; Hoshigake Kisame; Deidara, no surname given; Sasori- deceased. Possible members-"

He gestured to a part of his wall with twelve pictures of various known, still at large Nuke-nin of A rank and above. "Everyone else."

"You can add that guy, second row, third from the bottom."

The entire group turned as one, finding his mother and aunt Kushina at the door.

"You told your mother about this!" Sakura hissed.

He glared at the Pinkette out the corner of his eye. "If Itachi is coming to the village, I wasn't going to leave her to get caught flat-footed, Haruno."

"Besides," his aunt said, stepping inside. "We already knew before he told us."

At this, Sakura, and even he, truth be told, looked surprised. "You, you knew?"

Kushina smiled sadly, reaching into her Jounin vest and pulling out…

A mask.

A hunter-nin mask.

"Tsunade doesn't get intelligence reports through serendipity. I'm one of the few Hunter-nin in the village authorized to go after and search for the Akatsuki."

"Wait. There are hunter-nin going after these guys?" Sakura asked, mouth open.

"Just one." Kushina shrugged. "I… volunteered."

Personally, he felt himself blinking stupidly at his aunt, trying to get the gears in his mind to turn and click into place at the thought that she of all people, was a Hunter-nin trusted to track and engage S-class missing-nin.

His mother stepped forward, dark eyes lingering on Itachi's photo for a moment before she turned her attention to the wall of 'possibles'.

Reaching over she 'plucked' the picture of a man named Kakuzu from the wall, doing the same with another picture of a silver haired nin he remembered was called Bidan or something.

"Shina," his mother said, turning the picture around. "Isn't this his partner you told me about?"

Kushina stepped forward, leaning closer, squinting. "Hard to tell with the lack of tattoos… and seeing him in one piece. But I think so. Kind of unremarkable really. I think they were short a member and just handed this guy the last spot."

"What makes you think that?" Tenten asked.

"Because he _really_ sucked. Pretty sure a canny team of Chuunin could have dealt with him. With maybe like one Jounin as backup if they really needed help. Couldn't even land a hit on me. The only thing he had going for him is that he was _obscenely_ hard to put down. My chains wouldn't let him move, and I broke that seal of his but I had to practically chop him to pieces before he finally stopped cursing at me."

Lee tentatively raised a hand.

"Yes, Lee-san?"

"Uzumaki-san, why didn't you simply cut off his head if he couldn't move?"

"I did. Still didn't shut up."

Sasuke blinked.

"Right. Moving on," he muttered. "Alright, so we've got six out of nine. Two confirmed dead. What can you tell us about this Kakuzu guy?"

"He doesn't stay down easy either," she muttered, leaning against a wall beside Lee. "Could have sworn I landed killing blows at least three times but he just kept getting back up. Eventually, he got away. What I can tell you is that the guy knows a lot of elemental ninjutsu, uses a lot of combinations like wind and fire, lightning and water. And while he doesn't have Tsunade beat for strength, in durability, he's right up there with her.

"Know how good he is with Genjutsu?"

"Didn't try to catch me in any. I'd say it's not his style. But I don't use many either, so he might have some decent defenses against it that I don't know about."

"His file pegs him as old," Tenten said, shifting through her set of pages. "Like, Nidaime old if he were alive. This guy's knocking on almost a century."

"Maybe he's using some damn good moisturizer?" Kushina smiled.

Mikoto began organizing some of the board, putting the pictures into a semblance of order by village and pairing up the Akatsuki members with their partners.

"Each Akatsuki team specializes in something," she muttered, dark eyes looking at the six men. "Sasori and Deidara were both mid to long range combatants, preferring to stay far removed from direct conflict. Hidan and this Kakuzu seem to be a team that can soak up damage from enemy combatants and still keep fighting for much longer than normal. Kisame and… and Itachi are both specialists in ninjutsu, but sub specialize in Kenjutsu, and Genjutsu respectively." She brought her hand up to her chin, thinking. "The last team would have to consist of the leader, and a second in command. But what about the third?"

"Sealth specialist?" Sakura put forward. "Someone to act as a scout or a spy? Maybe the person finding the Jinchuuriki and reporting back to the main group?"

"Possibly." Mikoto nodded. "He could also be some sort of combat specialist, someone to back up a team designated to hunt down a particularly hard target."

"We should focus on what we know and plan around that," Shino suggested, nodding to the wall. "We have a list of four enemies. That's more than half the organizations if they haven't found replacements. With that alone I suspect we'd have our hands full. Spending time speculating on others, and planning around their possible skills, is a waste."

"I agree." Sasuke nodded.

"Well-" Tenten ventured. "Let's go by range." She stood up, marching closer to the wall and pointing at Kisame's picture. "We know this guy likes to get real close and personal. Even Neji and Gai-sensei couldn't really do much against him, his Chakra reserves are massive and his sword eats chakra. So other than me throwing pointy metal objects at him from a distance what else can we do?"

And so the headache **_really_** started.

For Kisame alone, Sakura and Lee insisted they could fight the big blue bastard, Sasuke reminded them that Gai had only just managed to fight him to a draw, and Konoha's Green beast could flatten anyone, maybe even Tsunade in close range combat.

When they tried to move onto Deidara, Shino suggested he could use his insects to drain his clay constructs of the chakra that fueled them before they exploded. Tenten pointed out that there was no guarantee he could do it fast enough or that Deidara's bombs wouldn't blow up half his hive by trying.

The only one they could even remotely agree on was Kushina fighting Kakuzu because she seemed to have done it before and beaten him before.

Then, of course, they had to face the elephant in the bloody room.

"I'm confident enough in my Genjutsu skills to-"

"Absolutely not!"

He gave his mother a dry, irritated look. "Soo. What? When Itachi's in front of me I should ask him to kindly fuck off because I'll be grounded if I fight him?"

A smack to the back of his head startled him. He looked to Kushina, who glared right back.

"Don't take that tone. She's just worried." His aunt looked to his mother. "But he is right, Mikoto. Itachi might actually be looking to come after the both of you directly… finish what he started," she muttered. "Sasuke is arguably the best Genjutsu user in the village right now." He tried not to puff up with pride at that.

"Then _I'll_ deal with him!"

Now it was Sasuke's turn to spit out the words. "Absolutely not!"

"I'm a Jounin, Sasuke. Don't think I can't defend myself. You're not too old the back of my hand either, son."

Sakura snickered behind her hands and Sasuke felt his cheeks flush with humiliation. There wasn't anything quite like your mother threatening you with punishment at sixteen in front of your peers.

"We are forgetting one factor," Shino cut in once again. "Naruto himself. We cannot quantify how much stronger he has become, but we must assume that he has made significant gains under Jiraiya-sama and Sandaime-sama. Any Akatsuki attack will be targeting him. We just have to know if he can fight one to a standstill. That, along with Uzumaki-san fighting Kakuzu, removes at least one fourth of their maximum possible fighting force, allowing the rest of the village to-"

"Naruto won't be fighting them." This time it was _Kushina_ 's voice that cut through Sasuke's apartment, much to the Uchiha's surprise.

She sounded like his mother.

"The whole point of this little group therapy session is to try to minimize the chance of Naruto's capture," Kushina continued, eyes narrowed dangerously. "Counting on him to fight is like putting the raw meat in front of the wolf and then hoping it doesn't get bit. Jiraiya wouldn't allow it, I… Hiruzen and Tsunade won't allow it either. I'm certain of it."

"Oh but it's alright for _Sasuke_ to go after Itachi then!?"

All of a sudden Sasuke felt the urge to press himself against the wall, far away from where he currently was, between the both of them. Somehow, someway, this conversation had leapt out into a whole different sphere and he could almost _feel_ the unspoken conversation passing between the both of them through charged eye contact.

"Mom, dad, please stop fighting," Tenten chimed in and despite the sentiment he thoroughly agreed with Sasuke glared at the weapon mistress.

He was going to **_kill_** Kiba for ever having said it aloud.

Or hell. Naruto. Yeah. Somehow he got the feeling that this was all Naruto's fault. He wasn't sure how, or why, but he _was_ sure of it.

(X)(X)(X)

He wasn't sure if it was irony, or serendipity, or maybe a combination of the two, but nearly a week later, he was _literally_ the first person Naruto ran into.

And he didn't mean amongst their group of friends in the Konoha twelve, but as in the *first person* in the entire village of Konohagakure-no-Sato the blond idiot encountered.

It was patrol duty, routine, boring, simple. He'd been combing the north eastern approach when someone quite literally hollered into the trees directly below them

"OI JOUNIN-SAN, HOW MUCH FARTHER TO KONOHA!"

He'd looked down, and he just knew, somehow he just knew who he was gonna find. Before he ever saw him.

And there he was, looking up with that stupid, clueless look on his face, squinting against the glare of the sun, dressed in black and a bit of orange.

Then he blinked, _really_ catching sight of him and he grinned like an idiot. "Oh hey! How ya doin, Sasuke!" He waved with the utmost cheer, and Sasuke had to take a moment to remember just _why_ he'd missed the loud idiot that apparently didn't understand that a ninja on patrol didn't need their presence announced to the world.

"Oi! Why ya bein' so quiet! Answer me, ya bastard!"

He had to put in some serious effort into remembering why he missed the dumbass.

(X)(X)(X)

Minutes later, cutting his patrol short (because honestly Naruto might as well be holding up a neon sign that grew bigger and brighter and more annoying with every second he stuck around to make 'small talk'), the two were marching down the road towards Konoha.

"So when'd you make Jounin?"

"Bout a year ago," he answered, and smirked. "Still a genin eh?"

"Sh-shut up! There are no Chuunin exams when you're traveling," Naruto grumbled.

Sasuke allowed himself a smirk, though he realized the rank meant absolutely nothing. No genin and very few chuunin could detect him when he was trying to hide.

"So where's Jiraiya-sama and Sandaime-sama?"

"Ero-sennin and Jii-chan told me to go on ahead, tell Tsunade they'd be showing up in a few hours, ya know."

"So you annoyed them enough that they just said 'screw it' and told you to go on ahead?"

Naruto smiled sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. Sasuke rolled his eyes, feeling his lips twitch despite himself. It really was hard to believe this guy was the Jinchuuriki to a walking natural disaster.

"I wanted to come home," the blond admitted.

The walls and gates of Konoha were just in sight now, just past the tree line.

"Can't wait to see everyone again."

Suddenly, a thought occurred to him, an idea he'd been mulling over for the last few days, mainly because Hinata insisted it would be 'good' for him; he had his doubts. But the idiot's arrival gave him another reason to go along with it, tipping the scales just enough.

"Hey, idiot," he found himself muttering, almost under his breath, as though hoping the blond wouldn't actually hear him. "Just got a new place. Finished unpacking a few days ago. Throwing a housewarming party. You want in?"

Naruto blinked stupidly at him, either not believing he was throwing a party, or being invited. Maybe both.

Then of course, he had to open his mouth. "You have a house!"

Sasuke tripped on a root.

"Of course I have a house, you moron!"

"How the hell was I supposed to know!"

Sasuke rolled his eyes and considered rescinding the offer. No one else had heard it after all. But he realized, even with his abysmal social skills and Naruto's thick headedness, it would be in extremely poor taste. "Look, I'm gonna start getting everything ready to have it in like…" He thought for a moment. "Two days." Should give him enough time. He'd tell Ino, and she'd tell everyone.

He reached into his pocket, taking out a notepad. "Here's the address."

Handing him the written piece of paper Naruto grinned like an idiot. Then his eyes lit up. "Oh. Hey. Don't tell anyone I'm back, alright? Let's surprise 'em!"

He raised an eyebrow. "You think you can keep yourself from being seen for two whole days?"

Given the gleam in the blond's eye, Sasuke suddenly remembered why he was called the Prankster King, and that he'd been training for the last four years with two of the strongest ninja Konoha had ever produced.

(X)(X)(X)

As promised, for two whole days no one, not even Sasuke, had heard or seen anything of the blond, or even Jiraiya and Hiruzen for that matter. Perhaps he'd sent back a clone, or a summon to contact them? He couldn't imagine their arrival would have gone unnoticed unless they genuinely tried.

The only one he did tell was Hinata, and he hadn't even told; she'd just read it with those eyes of hers. Sometimes the Byakugan was a bloody annoyance. Her smug 'I know something you don't' look when they spoke to their friends was amusing, though.

Finally, the day rolled around. His mother and Kushina arrived well before the allotted time, with her volunteering to cook and Kushina being allowed nowhere near a stove. If it wasn't ramen, she wasn't trusted with its preparation. Kiba was the first to properly arrive, with Akamaru in tow, carrying between the two of them a rather startling number of snacks. Akamaru was being used as a beast of burden with a harness, something the dog wasn't too happy about given how he grumbled and shifted until the harness was taken off of him.

One by one they all started filtering in: Sakura, Ino, Lee, Shino, Shikamaru, and Chouji. Hinata arrived late, having gotten off her shift later than intended. Uzuki Yuugao, his current commanding officer, came as well, with Genma, one of his Jounin colleagues coming along and finally, Neji, who revealed that Hinata had threatened him with bodily harm if he missed.

The picture of Hinata threatening Neji was one he wished he could have seen for himself.

And many, many more.

Apparently, Ino had told half the village.

The apartment was well and truly crowded by the time the 'guest of honor' decided to make his big debut.

He was somewhat… disturbingly disappointed that the blond chose to knock on his door like a normal human being as opposed to diving in through the balcony or something equally destructive.

Perhaps he should look into some form of professional help.

He barely opened the door, smirked, and said "Hey" before a girlish squeal literally cut through the house, making him turn just in time to nearly get smacked by the back of Tenten's hand as she rushed over to hug the blond.

"You're back!"

And like that, it was a candle to an oil soaked wick. The whole room took half a second to realize what was going on before their friends in the rookie twelve were each cheering out their own greetings.

Sasuke made his way back to the kitchen, feeling claustrophobic in the press of bodies all trying to reach the blond. He got a solid punch to the arm that made him cringe in genuine pain before he turned to look at Sakura.

"You knew!?"

"Again," he muttered, "I remember those crush days being a lot less painful!"

She smiled and walked away without an apology. Like he wasn't actually being serious.

He made it to the safe haven of the kitchen. A divider wall now separated him from the far too many people in his apartment. He fished a tomato out from the platter of appetizers, then a few more for good measure, taking a few seconds to simply get away from the noise.

How was this supposed to be good for him, again?

He spared a glance out the door, seeing the assembly of friends laughing and smiling, many of them still hovering around Naruto as the idiot soaked it all up with a wide smile.

Well, at least some good came out of it.

He was about to go back to his platter, which would soon suffer a distinct lack of tomatoes, when his mother marched into the kitchen, looking at him like she was bringing word that the Hokage just ordered him executed or something.

"You didn't say Naruto would be here," she said under her breath, too low for anyone else to hear, but the tone made Sasuke's eyes widen.

If he didn't know any better, his mother sounded… afraid?

He shook his head. "Is that a problem?"

Did she think the Akatsuki was going to attack his house warming party or something the instant Naruto showed himself? Last he checked Itachi was alergic to peanuts. Maybe he could throw the jar at him.

He saw her… almost catch herself, her mouth snapping shut, spine straightening. "Umm… No. No it's not a problem."

She turned around, and left without another word, leaving Sasuke bewildered and thoroughly worried, he walked to the kitchen doorway, leaning against the frame and watched his mother very carefully.

It didn't take him long to shift his attention to Aunt Kushina…

As he'd told Sakura before, his aunt always had a sombre air about her. A lingering sadness. The times she laughed, genuinely laughed were few and far between and even those were hard won things due to Uchiha Mikoto. At this very party, he saw her do little more than smile softly at the occasional joke, putting her own in when the conversation called for it.

But this was something different. It wasn't sadness he saw in her but… his aunt in half a second seemed to have transformed. Standing clear at the other side of the living room, she looked almost _skittish_ hovering by the far wall, nursing a drink with her eyes shifting this way and that way, never keeping her focus on any one thing for very long.

 _'What the hell?'_

He kept his eyes on them, the both of them, but it was clear his mother was throwing concerned glances towards the redhead and little else. Everything here revolved around Kushina.

He caught Hinata's eye across the room. She noticed something was up too. He shrugged his shoulders, telling her he had no idea.

And then it happened.

Naruto had been moving across the room, greeting old friends and trying to make new ones, introducing himself to some of Sasuke's older colleagues when he walked right up to her.

It was brief. A half second of nothing. But it was there. A moment of pure terror, like a deer caught in the headlights. And Sasuke felt his heart lurch uncomfortably in his chest, hoping and then immediately reasoning to himself that his aunt couldn't be like those people that held Naruto's status as a Jinchuuriki against him. She'd volunteered to hunt down S class missing nin for god's sake, came and talked to them in order to devise a plan to help protect him.

There had to be some other explanation for that emotion.

The idiot noticed, he must have, just too polite to say anything. Sasuke did however, notice that his smile was a bit more subdued, and his greeting a bit less enthused than it had been for some of the others like Yugao.

He couldn't hear them, too much distance, too many people talking. But he could lip read with the best of them.

" _Hey. Name's Naruto. It's nice to meet another of Sasuke's Jounin team."_

For a moment, it looked like Kushina would say nothing, but then, she did speak, shaking her head in the negative. _"N-no. I'm… I'm Sasuke's aunt, Naruto-san. Uzumaki Kushina."_

She offered a smile, and Naruto blinked. _"You're Sasuke's aunt!? But… but you don't have black hair!"_

She smiled at him, and Sasuke could swear the woman was about to break down in tears. _"Not a drop of Uchiha blood here,"_ she said. _"Mikoto, Sasuke's mother and I are just very good friends."_

 _"Ohhh."_ He smiled, scratching his head sheepishly. _"Sorry, it's just that all these years I've been picturing you, it always came up as 'black hair and black eyes."_

Kushina's smile became tinged with something else, some bitterness he couldn't identify.

 _"So. I hear you've been training. Did you get much stronger? What have you been getting up to in your travels?"_

There was something here. Something missing. Like knowledge of the Kyuubi before.

Some piece of a puzzle he hadn't even realized existed.

Later that night, he didn't need Hinata to confirm that the play of emotions they'd witnessed was real, it was genuine.

What did take him a long, _long_ time to figure out… was that the sadness he'd seen lingering behind his aunt's eyes for as long as he'd known her, vanished like a thin mist that night, replaced with a forlorn, subdued joy the longer she spent talking with the blond-haired idiot.

(X)(X)(X)


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6:**

For some reason, people believe an attack will be obvious when it starts.

People believe that there would be some kind of explosion, a scream for help, or a battle cry and the whole village would rise up in a moment to strike at their enemy.

People were wrong of course.

It didn't work that way.

Mikoto knew that better than anyone.

A knife in the dark could kill so many many more than an explosion ever could hope.

In the weeks after, they would learn that by the time a village wide alarm went off to warn them they were under attack, nearly two hundred had already been killed. Chuunin guards, patrols, civilians to keep quiet and even a handful of Jounin.

When the chakra pulse went off, when the horns blared. That's when the explosions went off.

She sprang to her feet and rushed to her weapons and armor, each neatly laid out and waiting, she heard Kushina do the same, even faster than her at the other side of the room.

In less than thirty seconds, the both of them looked like the Jounin they were, rather than the civilian women they pretended to be.

Her thoughts rushed a mile a minute. Going first to Sasuke, and suppressing the worry that spiked through her stomach at the thought of him halfway across the village. She should have asked him to stay here. He was a Jounin, but she found she didn't care overmuch for that rank right now.

Next, her worry shifted to Kushina, and subsequently to Naruto.

Kushina had been hunting the Akatsuki members for years; she'd managed to kill one, and nearly kill two others on separate occasions. She had proven that she could take care of herself.

But now they were here. In the village. Going after her son.

Could Kushina keep her mind on the battle? Could she detach herself from her worry for Naruto? Remove herself from the position of Naruto's mother and remain the S-class ninja that hunted monsters?

Mikoto wasn't sure. And if she were perfectly honest with herself, she doubted it.

This wasn't the time for her doubts though. It wasn't the place to let them distract her, or distract anyone else.

They had a battle to win.

She tied her hair back, fastening it to keep the silken threads from obscuring her vision, throwing a look at Kushina, who was tightening the straps of her armguard.

They left their home fast as their legs could carry them, taking to the rooftops. There were fires across the whole eastern wall With her eyes, through the smoke, Mikoto could see a clay monster flying along the north wall. Its body nearly lost to the backdrop of a night sky.

Deidara, the Iwa nin, then.

They moved faster, forced their feet to shift with that little bit of extra speed, their jumps to carry them just a bit farther, rushing towards the designated rally point. By the time they arrived an Anbu captain was already there, barking out orders and assignments for combat teams, search and rescue along with medical staff.

He caught sight of Kushina's red hair, nodding once. "Uzumaki-san."

"Which of the Akatsuki are attacking?" Kushina cut to the chase immediately.

"Three, though our sensor nin have reported that there are more signatures waiting beyond the village walls. Confirmed reports indicate Deidara of Iwa, Hoshigake Kisame of Kiri, a creature that fits the descriptions submitted regarding Kakuzu of Taki."

Mikoto pretended not to notice Kushina's eyes shift towards her for a brief moment. "Kisame, so far goes nowhere without his partner Itachi. If you've seen him, assume the other is close by."

Mikoto then pretended not to notice the captain's gaze do the same before looking away. "It would make sense. We're receiving reports of people being found unconscious, or just flatly dropping without injury or attack. We'll-"

Suddenly, there was a kunai knife poking out of the man's throat. His whole body stiffened, going ramrod straight as his muscles tensed and locked before slowly losing their strength.

There was a scream, and the Chuunin and Jounin were each scrambling away in surprise and fear, drawing weapons.

The blade was yanked out and the captain collapsed like a puppet with his strings cut.

Before her eyes beheld him, she knew who she was going to see standing behind the man. Mikoto stiffened her spine and steeled her nerve, forcing herself to stay outwardly calm even as her heart beat against the inside of her ribs like a hammer.

"Mother. Kushina-san. A pleasure to see you again."

Her son's voice was slow. Languid. He looked at them with eyes that regarded everything with an aloof, quiet boredom. All but disregarding the existence of the dozens of other Shinobi around him, and the others fast approaching the designated rally point for their orders.

Suddenly, she was staring at the back of Kushina's red hair, and she had enough presence of mind to realize her fists were clenched and shaking.

Her whole body was shaking, minute trembles that snaked up her arms and vibrated her ribs over her heart and lungs. She forced down a breath past the apple lodged in her throat and swallowed down the tears that suddenly threatened to overtake her.

"The feeling isn't mutual," Kushina hissed. "You and your organization made a mistake coming here."

"Pein-sama wishes for the Jinchuuriki. The mistake was hiding him for so long he felt direct intervention was necessary. He is powerful enough to destroy the entire village." Itachi said quietly. Mikoto could imagine him staring Kushina dead in the eye as he spoke his next words. "Make everyone's lives a little easier. It is clear he was not wanted here anyway."

She could almost feel Kushina's body stiffen in surprise, and in the next second she heard the metal rattling of chains and the sound of the tearing of flesh.

Mikoto's heart lurched in her chest and suddenly she moved fast as she could, ducking past Kushina to see her son's mangled corpse hanging from the chakra chains, all but ripped apart.

She felt sick, and it took all of her considerable training to not fall to her knees and empty her stomach all over the floor.

Then the body began to smoke, little black wisps of fine ash peeling away to reveal the body of the Anbu captain that had been at Itachi's feet instead.

There was a whisper at her back, a barely there caress along her ear from the wind before she felt the back of her knee flare up with pain and the sick, agonizing feeling of a tendon getting sucked into her flesh as it was suddenly severed. She screamed in agony, falling to the ground before she drew two kunai and tossed them blindly behind her.

She heard metal striking metal, and saw from her periphery as Kushina whirled where she stood.

Mikoto's hand reached out, arresting her fall, feeling dirt and rock bite into the skin of her palm as Chuunin warriors sprang into action, some rushing to fight, others moving to grab hold of her and pull her away and others still running away to either call for help, or merely to get out of the firing line.

She had the mind to look, to watch.

Itachi was always an exceptional Shinobi, but his time away had seemingly only sharpened his edge. The Chuunin and Jounin that rushed him with Kushina were barely even a footnote, with most simply collapsing outright as soon as he even turned his gaze for a split second to look at them.

His body was like liquid mercury, flowing easily between thrown weapons and Jutsu, keeping the bulk of his attention on Kushina as she closed the distance.

The Chuunin that had been pulling her away brought her to the other side of the street;, allowing her a clear view of the battle that moved too fast for even her Sharingan to keep up with easily. The hands of the Chuunin to her left glowed with green healing chakra as he began to mend her leg, and she prayed she would be allowed to help the fight in some way soon.

Where Itachi was liquid mercury, Kushina was a storm of metal and chains. their Taijutsu and Kenjutsu exchanges were swift and decisive, lasting for no more than seconds before one or the other pulled away with a fresh injury to show for it.

Kushina was fast, she was strong, skilled and experienced. But so was Itachi, and he was still holding back. She had not seen the Mangekyo yet.

There was an explosion nearby. Mikoto flinched, wondering if Deidara or one of the others had broken through this deep into the village.

A moment's distraction. That's all it took. A split second of her looking away and she missed how it happened, but she suddenly heard a blade slicing through flesh, the spatter of dark red blood on the floor and Itachi clutching his side.

"Impressive stealth… little brother."

"I try."

Sasuke appeared from thin air, his body bleeding into the world like a phantom gaining corporeality.

He turned his eyes to her for a second before shifting them back. "You alright?"

She forced herself to nod. The pain in her leg had become an acute discomfort now as the med nin's chakra moved the tendon back into place. Feeling it wriggling between folds of muscle and sinew as he tried to repair what would be a permanently crippling injury without medical jutsu.

Sasuke's stance was tense and wide, keeping his center of gravity low as he circled Itachi to keep him between himself and Kushina.

"You know, a part of me has always been afraid of this moment," Sasuke admitted. "Always afraid of the monster in the proverbial closet." He twirled the bloodied kunai in his hand, adjusting his grip. "Am I just that good? Or were my nightmares just worse than the real thing?"

"Hmpf." Her eldest son scoffed, closing his eyes with a shake of his head.

When he opened them again, the three Tomoe were now the shuriken pattern of the legendary Mangekyo Sharingan.

Sasuke's whole body went ramrod straight, freezing in place as though every limb was being pulled taut by iron chains.

Mikoto immediately rushed to stand, only for the pain in her knee to arrest the moment before she'd even gotten halfway there. The chuunin beside her cursed and hissed.

"Worthless," Itachi drawled. "Why did I ever believe you could have been worth sparing?"

Sasuke's teeth grit, eyes clenching shut as he tried to fight whatever illusion Itachi was overlaying on his mind.

Kushina rushed forward.

Itachi turned, staring the red headed woman dead in the eye.

She slowed…

For about a fraction of a second.

Then her body glowed, from the top of her head down to the tips of her toes, bright red seals shining along her skin like artwork in fiery ink.

Mikoto caught the look of surprise on Itachi's face before he was immediately forced to backpedal to avoid the full force of a kick that clipped him in the chin.

"You designed a seal specifically to counter my Mangekyo?"

"To counter Genjutsu," Kushina corrected. "Yours is the first that's ever been strong enough to make the whole pattern appear though. Color me impressed." She complemented before reaching towards Sasuke, who's body instantly slackened the moment her fingers brushed his shoulder.

Her youngest son panted, breathing harshly as he snarled, "Don't think you'll catch me so easily again!"

"Keep your head," Kushina warned. "He's too dangerous to get stupid with. I won't be able to protect you in this fight, Sasuke. If you get angry and careless…" She trailed off, her warning clear.

"I won't be a problem…" He swore, glaring hotly at his older sibling.

Itachi's eyes shifted between the both of them, bleeding from his side, a bruise rapidly forming over his jawline. Her son was still calm, but Mikoto could see a tension in his shoulders that hadn't been there before.

Her Sharingan eyes caught their movements as Kushina and Sasuke attacked before her world suddenly became dark and starlight, with Itachi quietly standing over her.

"You should not be here," he drawled, staring down at her like a judgemental parent. The irony was not lost on her.

"Your time away from combat has not been kind. You've lost your edge."

He was right, of course. They had been telling her for weeks now. She trained. She kept herself in fighting form. But not like Kushina. Certainly not like Sasuke. Between administrative duties, running the police force, the responsibilities towards the clan, she had not seen active combat in years.

Even so…

"I knew you would be here…" she said. "I knew… beating you was a distant dream at best… but I had to try."

"I suppose you did at that." He nodded. "You may stand if you wish."

She looked to her leg, finding the pain to be far reduced.

Trailing her eyes up to her son again she asked.

"Which is the illusion?"

He shook his head. "Does it matter?"

She looked at him. Really, looked at him. This… thing that was her son. "What happened to us, Itachi? What happened? Where did I screw up? When did I look away for so long that we… that you became this?"

He offered a hint of something. A smile, though there was no humor or cruelty in it… if anything, it seemed… forlorn. "Does it matter?" he repeated. "The past is the past, and nothing can change it any more."

She took a slow breath through her nose. "Why bring me here? Why talk?"

"Is it wrong that I simply wished to?" The shrug he gave was careless. "And because, no matter which way my current confrontation concludes, I suspect you would not relish the sight of it."

"Kindness?" She half laughed half scoffed in disbelief. "From you?"

"Many things I might be. But you of all should know I am not… needlessly cruel."

She wished she could say it was true. It would give her something. Some glimmer of a hope that he wasn't just the horrible monster of her nightmares and regrets.

But wasn't this, in and of itself, a cruelty, bringing her here… toying with her like this, giving her just enough to hope?'

It was…

He likely didn't think it was. But she could imagine few things that would have been worse. Even simply killing her might have been more merciful.

The world shifted and turned, becoming oily shadows and dull silver for a moment before it reasserted itself.

"What's happening?"

"It appears your youngest son finally noticed my hold over your mind and is trying to combat it. Useless. But his attempts are better than most." The Nuke-nin shook his head. "It also appears, your Jinchuuriki is far more clever than we gave him credit for. Or is that Hiruzen and Jiraiya's direction at work?" he mused to himself. "He is facing Pein himself, outside the village walls."

Her heart stuttered in her chest, worried for Naruto. "The Akatsuki leader?"

A single nod was the answer she received.

"Does he stand a chance?" She had to ask, even if his truthfulness was… questionable.

The world shifted again, longer this time, and Itachi's expression twisted for a moment to one of pain. "No, he doesn't. Pein is simply too strong. It will have to be a consolation, I suppose, that his sacrifice will spare the village from total destruction." He offered another shrug.

This time, the world shifted to a stark white, and Itachi's body quickly became nearly translucent.

"Goodbye, mother."

With a blink, the world, the real world, came back into focus, and Mikoto was greeted to the sight of more Konoha shinobi arriving on scene, Anbu, Jounin and chuunin, with at least one hunter nin full combat team-someone had gotten the word out-with Haruno as one of the three medics she could see.

Her eyes frantically searched, looking for Kushina and her sons, finding the three fighting across a nearby rooftop. Itachi's cloak was in tatters, a litany of cuts on his visible skin with bruises forming rapidly. Sasuke was little better, and she could see a kunai had been stabbed into her youngest son's left shoulder, his arm hanging limp to the side. Kushina herself didn't sport an injury quite so severe but she was breathing harsher than Mikoto could remember seeing for the longest time with at least three deep cuts that must have only just missed some of her vitals.

The combat team swarmed, surrounding the Nuke nin, forcing a lull in the battle as Itachi's Mangekyo panned over the lot of them.

Mikoto looked down to her leg, seeing nothing more than a splotch of dried blood. Barely any pain.

Mikoto stood, feeling no pain The chuunin that had been healing her nowhere to be found.

Tears pricked at her eyes.

"Give up, Itachi. I'd rather not have to kill you."

She brought her eyes up, finding Itachi shaking his head. "I believe you misunderstand the situation, Kushina-san."

As if on cue, Kushina swayed where she stood, seemingly lightheaded before righting herself.

"I am not so foolish as to risk an attrition fight with the likes of you, I'm afraid." Twirling a kunai in his finger, he tossed it at her feet. "You, least of all could be allowed to interfere. Your Uzumaki heritage has delayed it… but pump enough poison, and even your genes can only take so much."

"You-" The red headed woman snarled, moving to step forward before her knees buckled, with Sasuke and three other Anbu stepping in front of her.

"I would not recommend simple medical extraction. It is not quite as simple as Sasori's toxins considering their intended target. If you try it…" He trailed off, shrugging. "Things might get unpleasant. Goodbye."

His body became a murder of crows, vanishing into thin air. Sasuke's eyes darted to the left and Mikoto could tell her son knew where his older brother had disappeared to, ready to give chase.

"SASUKE!"

Her shout stopped him cold, and he looked back at her with red eyes, the Tomoe spinning within.

She shook her head, barely even able to speak through the apple lodged in her throat.

She could see him warring with himself, a moment of indecision that was finally resolved as one of the Anbu knelt at Kushina's side.

"Uzumaki-san. What are you feeling? Medics!"

And like a switch had been flipped, Mikoto and the medics were moving towards her. Sakura was there first, examining the multiple cuts and barking orders towards the other two as Kushina's pallor turned a sickly pale.

"Kushina?" Mikoto called, reaching for her hand, and feeling the red head weakly squeeze back.

Her eyes swam in her skull, telling Mikoto that she was struggling to keep focus, but she managed, staring squarely at the Uchiha matriarch as she wheezed out words through a constricted throat. "I… I have to… find-"

She shook her head. "I'll find him. Alright? I'll find him. You just-"

"Mikoto-san, please give me some room!" Sakura was suddenly there, all but shoving her away, hands glowing a vibrant green. The girl's eyes were wide in what seemed like abject horror, teeth grit as she worked.

Mikoto forced her training to take over, forced herself to move away. The village was under attack, there was nothing she could do here. Her feet turned her around and carried her away, barely hearing Sasuke call or follow after her.

 _"Get some bloodwork done. We need to know what the hell this is!"_


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7:**

Aburame Shino did not consider himself a vain or prideful young man.

In fact, one would be hard pressed to find such qualities in any Aburame really. Their solitary nature and perceived standoffishness did not lend themselves easilly to such socially conscientious things as pride or vanity.

Even so, there were qualities he appraised within himself that he would consider to be his strongest and most noteworthy.

These were his observational skills, his patience, his intelligence and his calm.

But more than any of those things, he took pride in his sense of logic.

His ability to remove emotion from the equation and base his opinions on cold, hard facts. He did not allow himself to give into hyperbole and exaggeration easily, if at all. It served no purpose, and typically did little more than muddy what should be a clear-cut issue.

But here, lying in this hospital bed, he couldn't help but think back to the battle he'd witnessed and genuinely liken it to watching Gods at play.

The Akatsuki's leader was a monster, of that there was no doubt.

Naruto had drawn him to battle well outside the village walls, but even from such a distance the collateral damage had been… considerable.

A whole chunk of the village had been toppled over. Some sort of gravity attack. Hundreds dead, hundreds more wounded. The ninja that had still been standing after the various confrontations with Uchiha Itachi, Hoshigaki Kisame, Kakuzu of Taki, and Deidara of Iwa had moved to try and assist; to lend some semblance of aid.

He himself and some of Naruto's other friends had volunteered.

Foolish.

The Akatsuki leader had sent one of his… bodies? Proxies?

Just one. A monstrosity with a saw blade tail, limbs arms and a body made of hardened iron.

It had all but slaughtered them. If it hadn't been for Hatake-sensei arriving when he did, many more would be dead.

And Naruto had fought five others…

His teammate truly had come quite far since their academy days when he barely knew how to mold chakra.

The pressure that had flattened a portion of the village had dug out a flattened trench across the forest. Trees, foliage, animals, and the Shinobi still beyond the walls had been pulverized.

Rescue and recovery teams still were digging up crushed bone fragments and pulped flesh and likely would be for weeks.

But that lack of trees had allowed some of the people within the village with the means to do so to see it.

They'd seen the Gods at play.

He didn't have the whole picture, he couldn't. But he'd seen some.

The Jutsu that had been exchanged had been things that could destroy villages whole, the speed something too fast to be comprehended. And some of the events, like a creation of what seemed to have been the beginnings of an entirely new Moon were beyond belief and still made him feel like a part of him had gone mad.

He doubted any but the Hokage, Jiraiya-sama and perhaps Sarutobi-sama, who had also returned and had managed to draw close enough would ever really know what had transpired if Naruto did not divulge it later.

But he knew that no other ninja within the village could have fought the battle Naruto had fought and won. Not even those esteemed and venerable leaders and legendary Shinobi who were still above his old teammate in rank.

When Jiraiya had carried him back, with one arm slung over his shoulder, bloodied, bruised and exhausted, a spear grasped in his teammate's hand which was barely strong enough to keep a grip on it… Shino wasn't sure who had cheered first; But they indeed had cheered.

He remembered his Kikaichu tasting the confusion in Naruto, followed by a spike of concern.

His long time friend had stared at the village for a long time before the worry and confusion morphed into a quiet, forlorn sort of joy as he recognized that they were cheering for him.

He, the orphan child who didn't even have a family name, who had craved that sort of approval all his life. He finally had it.

In that moment, Shino had felt a seldom-encountered pride in his one-time teammate.

They'd not spoken yet unfortunately. Naruto had, understandably, been exhausted after his battle and seemed just shy of passing out completely. He'd been carried off along with the rest of the wounded to the hospital and the emergency medical tents that now surrounded it.

Shino's wounds were minor in comparison to most. In all due reality, he was here because of Chakra exhaustion more than anything. His wrist was sprained, and his rotator cuff had been injured. But otherwise, nothing of any real concern.

He spent his time by spreading his Kikaichu through the facility. It was a way to keep his mind occupied but also allowed him to detect any cases that were turning critical. While he could not see or hear through his insects, if he focused on them, he could 'taste' the chakra they consumed, allowing him to perceive various things others might not.

After a time he could even identify certain people through this sixth sense. Tsunade, his old sensei Kakashi, Tsunade, his father, mother and others. A means of identifying insects in the hive that translated to his own brain chemistry accurately.

As of right now, Naruto was in the hospital's eastern wing. He had four guards outside his door and was currently sleeping.

Tsunade-sama was outside of the hospital in the medical tents, currently tending to a patient, trying to save him from a cardiac arrest.

Shizune-san was directing the various nurses and doctors one floor above Shino's own.

Kakashi-sensei was taking orders from, what he could only assume to be either an Anbu captain, or perhaps Hiruzen-sama, along with Maito Gai and several other Jounin.

His father and other clan members were spread out along the village's wall, their own hives going out even further to the edge of their respective ranges, screening for any possible remaining attackers that could be lying in wait in the forest, or approaching unseen.

And Sakura, was in the Hospital wing he knew to be the lab…

For the sixth time today.

He focused on her, blanking out his mind of the other insects of his hive and the information they were providing for him and narrowed his thoughts exclusively onto her.

The Kikaichu around her tasted…

Distress.

Confusion.

An increasing sense of what Shino could only liken to Dread.

And undercutting these… a cautious sense of … happiness?

He blinked where he lay, a single eyebrow rising slowly in bewilderment, his analytical mind trying to puzzle out what this mixture could mean.

His kikaichu bit at her skin, not enough to hurt, just enough to get her attention. Like the graze of a needle across the skin that doesn't pierce the flesh.

She was distracted, or perhaps focused. It took whole minutes before her brain registered the sensation, and when she did, she looked down to her arm as though not recognizing the age-old signal from their genin days.

She hadn't done that in years.

He ceased his action, knowing she would come soon, but he was surprised by how much longer she stayed in the labs before she came up to his rooms.

He could taste the falseness of her cheer as she approached.

She opened the door with a smile, green eyes sparkling.

"Hey Shino. Sorry for the wait. Something wrong?"

"You're distressed," he intoned, laying on the bed, hands laced over his stomach.

She blinked, then frowned. "I've told you spying on people is rude, Shino."

"You have, each time I've done so," he admitted, nodding. It had also been one of the earliest lessons from childhood at home. Not everyone existed in a hive cluster where secrets were an alien concept. "Then you proceed to tell me what's wrong and ask for my advice, regardless" he reminded.

She glared at him with a deadpan expression, but he saw the twitch of her lips that told him she was trying to fight down a smile, tasted the moment of humor bubbling beneath the surface.

"Not something I can talk about." She shook her head. "But thanks for trying, Shino."

"Are you pregnant?" He decided to go with his best guess.

Her eyes went completely dead, her muscles seizing up. Even the taste of her chakra went utterly blank for a moment.

"WHAT!?"

He shrugged. "It seemed a logical conclusion."

"HOW!?" She was no longer confused, but growing increasingly angry as her incredulity vanished.

It seemed he was fairly far off the mark in his guess.

He shrugged. "I could think of little else that would put you in such a state. And you've been coming in and out of the Hospital lab every hour on the hour. "

Her mouth opened and closed, gaping like a dumbstruck fish, her throat making small clicking sounds, as though the words were getting stuck in her voicebox.

Honestly, it was just a question.

She brought a hand up to the bridge of her nose, fingers pressing down as though trying to stave off an incredible headache.

"I'm not pregnant," she finally said. "As for what's bothering me it's… look. Don't worry about it, ok. Before I talk to anyone about it I'm gonna have to go straight to Tsunade-sama."

Now that piqued his curiosity. What test could she have run in the lab that needed the Hokage to be notified so quickly? A virus of some kind perhaps? Some sort of toxin?

His old teammate fidgeted for a moment where she stood, and Shino felt the unease and creeping disquiet return to her taste full-force. "Ummm… How's Naruto doing?"

"I was under the impression spying on others was rude," he teased, though one would never know it, given that the inflection in his voice had never changed.

She glared at him, and he had to smile just a bit.

"He is alright. Resting for now. We finally seem to have found something that can tire even him out."

The relief was present…

But her disquiet, if anything, only increased.

That, made him raise an eyebrow in both shock and genuine confusion.

"Good… that's good." She nodded, seemingly deciding something before she cleared her throat.

"I need to go see Tsunade-sama. Are you good, Shino-kun?"

He nodded, his own confusion and curiosity piqued, but unable to do anything about it.

"I am alright, Sakura."

She turned and left with a nod and a smile, descending one more time to the labs below.

She spent one more hour therein before she seemed to be satisfied with whatever she was doing.

Then turning and marching out, straight towards Tsunade's office, where the Hokage had long since retreated to recover her depleted chakra as she kept working to manage the village.

He tasted their chakra,listening as best he could.

After a few seconds, his curiosity only increased as Tsunade's own emotions rapidly transformed from calm cool professionalism to a moment of barely restrained panic.

(X)(X)(X)

This chapter really wasn't planned from the beginning but the transition from the previous chapter to the next one felt _off_ to me. So here we are.

By my estimate we have somewhere around 3 chapters left to go on this piece. Hope you've all enjoyed it so far.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 8 :**

Hatake Kakashi was a smart man.

This wasn't a boast, or pride talking. This was a gods-honest fact.

If you weren't smart, you didn't live to his age, typically, given the nature of his profession.

He was smart enough to already begin estimating the damages the village had suffered in the attack, both in material and manpower.

He could estimate the amount of money and time it would take to recover. He could determine what village defenses were vulnerable to a second attack, knew from memory what forces could be allocated to the various districts to shore them up until they could be fully repaired and the patrols renewed.

He was smart enough to determine, without having read a single report or analysis or debrief , the branches of Konoha's commercial economy that would be affected from the damaged districts.

Aburame silk would be in short supply for the foreseeable future, Akimichi farmland had remained untouched but the tremors from the clash between Naruto and Pein had torn down the storehouses for the grain just by observing how Choza kept looking towards the southern wall.

He was smart enough to know, truly know, despite all of the hyperbole and exaggerations beginning to spread across the village and the people within it how close this fight had been. How they'd barely survived, how Naruto won almost by the skin of his blood-tinged teeth.

Under Hiruzen and Jiraiya, Naruto had clearly come a long way, of that, there was no doubt, but the Akatsuki leader, that Pein, was a monster. A wholly different beast.

Frankly. If Naruto hadn't been here, he doubted the whole of the village would have been able to stop him.

Even Jiraiya and Hiruzen, who had been close enough to help in the battle itself had been forced to pull away in fear of becoming a hindrance. Them. The two most powerful ninja beside Tsunade herself.

Oh yes. Kakashi was well aware just how lucky they all were to be alive right now.

He didn't say anything of course. Didn't alarm anyone. No need. After an attack of this nature, morale, especially amongst the younger generation, the genin and chuunin, was remarkably high.

What should have been a moment of near collapse with the sanctity of the village, their home, being threatened and nearly destroyed, Naruto was turning into another victory. Already some were saying he was as strong as any of the Hokage.

That kind of inspiration, hope. Well…

He was smart enough to know he shouldn't break it. No matter how much his cynicism reminded him that even legends don't last forever…

So he kept quiet. He did the work that was assigned to him: filling out patrols, assigning teams, repairing defenses, delegating tasks.

Every objective was accomplished with a quiet sort of efficiency since the attack, all the while keeping his ear to the ground for signs of any change to Naruto's condition.

Last his sources told him, his former student was waking up and complaining about being stuck in bed, to the point that they'd sedated him just to keep him from breaking anything… again.

The thought made him smile.

All of these things, Kakashi knew and did because he was a smart man.

And so, two days after the attack, when he was called into the office of the Hokage, finding Tsunade, Jiraiya, Hiruzen and none other than his other student, Sakura, he was able to deduce quickly that this meeting likely had to do with the boy in question.

The grim looks on each of their faces, made his heart thump solidly beneath his rib cage. A bolt of fear running through him that he masked well enough, his exposed features never revealing a hint of it.

"What's going on?"

His question was simple, almost rude, barely waiting for the door to shut behind him before he blurted it out.

Had something happened to Naruto? Some unforeseen complication? Perhaps a lingering poison his Jinchuuriki abilities couldn't get rid of? Had the Kyuubi's chakra hurt him in some way?

The answer came from Sakura.

"Did you know about this too, Kakashi-sensei?"

Her question confused him, he looked to her, then to the others in the room, searching out for some hint or clue as to what was going on.

His sharp gaze found the answer on Tsunade's desk.

He couldn't see the contents, not exactly from where he stood by the door. But he'd been through enough hospital procedures to know what a blood test form looked like, even from a distance.

His mind clicked, a detail he'd heard days ago returning to the forefront.

Kushina was poisoned…

In all of the chaos, in all of the distraction in all the problems and issues… Tsunade wasn't the one to treat her.

She usually did on the few occasions when the woman required it.

It must have fallen to Sakura.

He turned his eyes to Jiraiya and Hiruzen. One stood at the doorway of the balcony looking solemn and quiet, the other with closed eyes and grim face, hands laced over his cane.

He looked to his student, knowing his suspicions were correct, but deciding to play it safe regardless.

He smiled, for all the world looking as careless and nonchalant as ever.

"What are you talking about Sakura-chan?"

When she looked up at him, any lingering doubt was wiped from his mind as fresh tears percolated through her tear ducts and over her bloodshot eyes, staring at him with an anger that could only be born from hurt.

"Don't lie to me, sensei."

He felt his shoulders slump just a bit, and the urge to pull out his book and turn his attention to it to avoid her look was strong, but he held it down.

"I suggest you forget about it, Sakura," he half stated, half pleaded.

"Forget about it?" She looked furious, but her tone was tinged with something he'd seldom heard directed at him from her.

Horror.

She looked around at each of them, eyes frantically searching for someone that would look as horrified as her. Some ally in this.

"I don't know where all of you get off! But Naruto's my friend! I'm not just going to… to fucking lie  about this! His mother is alive!

"This isn't a hornet's nest you want to kick up," he warned. "It's not going to end well."

He could see her fists clench, the muscle of her jaw bunching up, no doubt she was gritting her teeth and he was reminded of the fact that Sakura could in fact, be the most stubborn of his students if she really set her mind to something.

She looked around to the others in the room, no longer looking for an ally but glaring at them with a palpable, tangible disappointment.

"You've… You've all been lying to him!

"We've protected him," he corrected, his voice cracking like a whip. "Kushina is-"

"It was a mistake, Kakashi," Jiraiya interrupted, turning to him with a look that could be described as pleading.

He glared at the man, fingers clenching into a fist inside his pocket.

"Oh, that makes it all better then," he chirped, voice dripping with a venomous, biting sarcasm. "Silly me. Maybe if I wasn't here for it; it'd have been that easy for me too."

The Sannin visibly flinched and Kakashi saw Tsunade's shoulders bunch, fingers digging into the skin of her arms. Angry. Angry at him for picking at that wound.

 _Tough shit…_

He turned his head, looking to Sarutobi. The old man looked worn, with skin like old leather filled with creases and jagged lines. Thinner, more frail than Kakashi remembered, the receding hairline all but gone now. His eyes were downcast, not looking at any of them.

Kakashi felt his teeth grinding together.

"This secret is poisonous, Kakashi," Jiraiya answered, sidestepping the accusation.

"For who? You?" He felt his shoulders rise and fall in a careless shrug. "Far as I can tell Naruto is doing just fine. His parents are dead. Better they stay that way."

"You can't mean that!" The absolutely _horrified_ look on Sakura's face twisted his gut, but his heart was cold as steel in his chest.

"I do. That woman is not his mother. She lost the right!"

"What the hell happened!?" the girl suddenly screamed, shooting to her feet, passing her eyes over everyone in the room. "Whatever it was, it's not something we can't try to-"

"She tried to kill him, Sakura!"

His shout stopped her cold, and Kakashi could see the dumbstruck shock on her face as she tried to wrap her head around the fact that he was saying a mother tried to kill her own child.

"She's not his mother," he repeated with steel-banded conviction. "She's damage." He looked to Tsunade. "And there's no reason to dig this up. Let it stay dead and buried."

There was a silence in the room, thick and heavy with thoughts and quiet condemnations.

"You're lying to him…"

Sakura's voice was meek, timid, a far cry from the kunoichi she'd become in recent years.

"All of you! He thinks of all of you like family! He trusts you like you're actually his parents and all you've done is lied to him his whole life. If I hadn't run that test how many more years? How much longer would you four be sitting here, smiling to his face and keeping this from him!?"

"As long as necessary!"

"He has a right to know, Kakashi." Jiraiya spoke up again looking at him with an obvious disappointment that he didn't agree with the notion; and Kakashi, for the first time in his life felt the genuine urge to _hurt_ the sanctimonious letch.

What the hell gave him the right to judge _anything_?!

"I agree." Tsunade finally spoke up, her shoulders relaxing as though she'd just dumped a weight off of them. "There's never gonna be a 'good time' to talk about it. There's never gonna be a moment where this conversation is gonna be "easy" and he does have the right to know." She swiveled her eyes towards the still-silent Sandaime. "And I think you agree with that."

The God of Shinobi opened his eyes, looking straight at Tsunade with a piercing, fixed gaze for a solemn moment before he turned his eyes towards Kakashi.

It was all the answer the former Anbu needed.

 _'No…'_

It was a strange detached sort of horror he felt at the look in the man's eye, and now, he, not Sakura found himself standing in a room alone, staring at the other four in disappointment.

Disappointment that was rapidly being replaced with a palpable, burning anger.

"Wish I had the luxury of forgetting what she did," he muttered, and he saw Sakura flinch back away from him. He was so angry he barely recognized his own voice. "Sounds nice. _Easy_.

"No one's forgotten what-"

"I think you have." He cut off Jiraiya with a glare. "It fades for all of you. Gets a bit more muddy. A bit more distant. Little less fresh, right?

He reached up to his headband, dragging it up, revealing the Sharingan eye spinning slowly in his iris. "Tell me how that luxury feels. I'd like to know."

He saw Tsunade's eyes widen; a horrified recognition beginning to dawn over her features.

"I don't get to forget. It doesn't fade for me. That punch doesn't suddenly turn into a slap, and that choking doesn't turn into a cough…" He glared at the three, trying to convey all the disdain and rage he felt burning in his chest through his eyes alone.

But he didn't know what to say. For all his intelligence, for all his genius, he didn't know what he could say to turn their minds. Their minds were all made up a long time ago.

This… Sakura, all of it was just an excuse… a formality.

So he did the only thing he could.

He walked away.

"To hell with all of you."


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 9:

It seemed to Tenten that, these days, the hospital was being more heavily guarded than the goddamn Hokage tower.

Of course, she knew, intellectually at least _why _that would be the case. The Akatsuki had attacked in search of Naruto. Not all of them were dead and might very well try again, Naruto was here, he was injured and so, the hospital needed guarding.

Even barring all that, Naruto had demonstrated himself to be, frankly, one of, if not the most powerful ninja in the village right now, and that was including Jiraiya-sama, Sandaime-sama and Tsunade-sama.

That kind of power, even on a purely political scale, was valuable, and, being injured, many, many groups would look to remove him from the board altogether. Not just the Akatsuki.

So, intellectually, she knew why all of this was in place and why it was so hard to get in to see him.

It still didn't change that it was _fucking annoying_.

She'd tried everything from bribery, to stealth, to exploiting shift changes, to coming in during visiting hours and everything in the gray areas between those options to try and see him.

In the end, her 'break' came in the form of Lee.

Not through any form of co-ordination or conspiracy, or even any semblance of a _plan _to do so. Lee was about as subtle as a brick to the face.

He'd also been injured in the attack, fighting Hoshigake Kisame alongside Gai-Sensei. His injury wasn't serious, but they did have to induce a medical coma (just to keep him in bed).

When it was time to finally wake up, no one had informed her, Gai, or Neji what the side effects of the medication were.

In a similar vein, no one informed the Doctors what happened when Lee's faculties were compromised, like when he was drunk…

Or drugged.

When her, (frankly insane) teammate heard that Naruto was injured and no one could see him yet, he declared it right then and there that he would _"Go see their dearest comrade and make him feel better"_

And from there, a tornado ripped through the hospital.

Oh, people tried to stop him, especially Gai-sensei. But Lee was determined, and it was halfway through his 'rampage' that Tenten realized she may be able to see Naruto herself with it. At the very least, he might cause enough of a ruckus for Tsunade-sama or Sakura or someone to let them in, even for a second. It was just to see him and say hello, not like they were gonna stay for a goddamn sleep over.

With that thought in mind, her efforts to stop her hospital gown wearing teammate became halfhearted at best.

Neji threw up his hands and washed himself of the involvement, saying he had better things to do than _"Get arrested because Lee is an idiot"_

Somehow, someway, as though guided by scent or serendipity Lee indeed made his way down to the cordoned off sections of the hospital.

The guards came over, got punched, struggled, got punched some more, Gai-sensei got punched, and Tenten took the provided opportunity to slip through the door into the room.

The weapon mistress stiffened when she felt a knife at her neck.

"Ah-Ah"

She breathed a sigh at the voice, turning to look at the spinning red eyes of Uchiha Sasuke.

"Don't think you're authorized to be in here."

"Thought this place was just for Anbu guards," she shot back.

The Uchiha shrugged. "No one better at detecting and breaking Genjutsu in the whole village. They'd be stupid to not keep me." He pocketed the knife, seemingly confirming that she wasn't some sort of Henge. "Assume you want in to see the idiot?"

She nodded, though, immediately raised an eyebrow. "Wait. Don't tell me you've been standing out here and haven't gone in to see him."

He scoffed, rolling his eyes. "Of course I've gone in to see him! In small goddamn doses. Seriously. You think he's annoying normally, stick him in a room for three days and he'll chatter your ear off with his bitching."

She smiled, hearing the distant crash of the scuffle outside. "Sounds like someone else I know."

The Uchiha tossed a look at the door behind her. "Fair warning. If Lee comes in here, I'm not bothering with the 'Please calm down sir' bit, I'm just stabbing him."

She giggled at the joke.

He was joking after all… probably.

Maybe.

Tenten stepped past him, watching as he took his spot and leaned against the door again. She marched down the narrow hallway to the last door.

Opening it, she peeked her head in to see an absolutely miserable looking Naruto laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling in a sort of catatonic blank.

"I wanna go home Sakura-chan!" He complained as the door opened, not even bothering to look her way.

Tenten found herself laughing. "I come all this way and all you can do is think of Sakura."

His face immediately adopted a look of surprise, snapping his head down to look at her, his smile lit up the room as he sat up on his bed. "Tenten!"

"Hey Sunshine!" She smirked, fully stepping into the room and closing the door behind her.

He moved to get up, so she moved quickly to get to the bed, unsure if he was really better or just being stupid, like Lee. She'd rather not risk it.

He stood up anyway, giving her a big hug, going so far as to lift her an inch off the ground as she laughed and hugged him back.

They'd seen each other at Sasuke's housewarming party, but this one, after… everything that had happened felt a lot more personal, a lot more _real _without the headsman's axe of the Akatsuki attack hanging over their necks.

Her feet touched the ground again and she pulled away looking him over, and noticed a scar, something she _knew _was nearly impossible to inflict on him along the side of his neck, hairline thin, noticeable only by the stark paleness of the skin next to his sunkissed tone, curving around to somewhere near his spine.

Just how close had that fight been?

She pushed the thought aside.

He was here, he'd won.

She forced the concern from her face and smiled up at him now that he was an inch or so taller than her.

"You being nice to the nurses?"

His features scrunched up. "I'm not five Ten-chan."

"You act like it half the time!" She shot back, smiling as she pressed down on his shoulders, forcing him to sit again, hearing the bed creak and groan as she pulled a chair closer.

He grumbled and groused, "I'm goin crazy in here." His face softened, regaining a hint of its former smile. "Glad you came. It's just been Sakura and Sasuke. They're not letting anyone i-Hey! How'd you get in?"

"You think some Anbu are gonna stop me?" she asked haughtily.

"I guess not."

The voice made Tenten shoot out of her seat like a firework had gone off under the cushion, standing ramrod straight with a startled squeak.

She turned, finding a rather unimpressed looking Tsunade standing at the doorway, a single hand on her hip.

"Ahh. Tsunade-sama. Ummm… How are you?" She laughed, clearly nervous.

"Busy," the blonde woman answered drily, her lips pursing as she stepped aside, to gesture to the doorway. "I really need to have a private conversation with Naruto, Tenten-san, and you really are not authorized to be here."

"Aww come on, Baa-chan!" Naruto complained "It's boring in here!"

"Don't argue, kid," a new voice called, stepping through the door to reveal the towering Jiraiya.

His voice was calm, there was a gentle soft smile on his face but Tenten felt herself stiffen.

It was there… she could see it.

Like the old woman at the park all those long years ago, where her face said one thing, and her eyes another.

Something was wrong.

"Tsunade and I really need to have a word with you, alone," the man said.

Tenten stole a glance at Naruto, and she could tell he knew something was up too. The expression of childish petulance had morphed, and he looked at the two Sannin with eyes that seemed almost coldly calculating if not for the soft face of gentle concern.

He looked to her, and she offered him what little reassurance she could.

"I'll… be just outside," she said, almost asking for permission, wondering if Tsunade wanted her to leave the hospital as a whole, not just the room.

But the woman didn't say anything and Tenten walked away as Naruto shifted on the bed to fully stand up.

She stepped out, the door closed behind her and she instantly took notice of Sasuke still at his spot by the door, his gaze far more intense than it had been when she arrived.

He waited until she was close to whisper his words, making sure his voice wouldn't carry far.

"Something's wrong."

She nodded, and placed herself by a bench to wait.

The wait was… torturous.

In retrospect, she'd realize it took minutes. Ten, twenty tops. But she felt like she was sitting at that bench for hours. No sound came from the room, the thrum of the air conditioner started to drone loudly in her ears. Sasuke watched the door like his brother would emerge from it to kill them all and the hospital's hallways, so far removed from the main wings were cavernously silent.

Finally, after an eternity of waiting, the door opened.

Naruto stepped out, dressed in a simple pair of shorts and a white shirt.

It was there for a flash, an instant. Just enough time for him to recognize her and Sasuke standing there before he covered it up with that smile of his, stepping out with something so convincing she couldn't see through it. Not even a little bit.

"Hey guys, good news. I've been cleared to get the hell out of here." His teeth gleamed with his smile, eyes crinkled in that usual way.

It was Sasuke that spoke before she could, and by his voice alone she could tell he'd noticed the same thing. He was hesitant, almost cautious. Like he was cajoling a snake into a basket or something.

"Everything alright?"

"Of course!" Naruto answered, just a bit too loudly, a bit too quickly. "I'm gonna go for a walk and go get some ramen! Feels good to get out."

He didn't even look at her, and as he moved to step past Sasuke she finally found it in herself to _move_.

"Naru-" Her hand reached out, just barely brushing at his wrist before he pulled away, slipping out of her reach as she felt a too strong gust of barely there wind swat her hand aside.

And she saw it then, the split second where that smile slipped, where the mask fell and shattered all over the floor before he picked it right back up again.

A look that truly, genuinely _scared _her.

Something. Was. _Wrong_.

He smiled. "Guys, I'm fine really. I just gotta get out of this hospital-"

The door at the end of the hall opened, and Jiraiya stepped out, standing there quiet and grim faced.

Without another word, Naruto brushed past the both of them before they could react, shouldering the door open and stepping out to the hall.

Tenten stared after him, something rooting her feet in place as most of her instincts told her to follow.

Sasuke it seems; did not share her paralysis.

He turned towards Jiraiya.

"The fuck is going on?"

Jiraiya looked down at the clan heir, and for a moment she could swear the man seemed… older, as if he'd aged ten years right here in this hallway.

"Not to sound like a total ass, but that's classified, Uchiha-san."

She could almost _hear _Sasuke's teeth grinding together. "I'm going to find out, Sannin. With or without you."

The white-haired veteran shrugged. "I won't stop you from trying."

He turned away, stepping back into the room, where Tenten could spy Tsunade sitting on the bed, head cradled in one hand.

(X)(X)(X)

He didn't want to be found.

That was the only thought that brought Tenten any sort of comfort, cold as it was.

The alternative was… it wasn't something she wanted to contemplate.

Because as long as it was _just _that he didn't want to be found, that meant that eventually he would come back.

She looked for him, that first day.

Going to his house, Ichiraku, some of the old training grounds he liked.

Nothing.

She'd checked with Shino, Lee. But they hadn't even known he was out of the hospital. For Shino's kikaichu to have not found hide nor hair of him, knowing how the Aburame had insects spread out through the village, was… sobering.

She knew he was out of the hospital, and Sasuke knew, but the only one that seemed to know what could have gone on in that room was Sakura, and the girl wasn't talking. When Tenten had tried to corner her on the second day, Sakura wasn't the emotional mess she'd been when she discovered the Kyuubi, and the difference in composure showed. She would constantly either slip away or avoid Tenten altogether.

By the time the third day rolled around, Tenten started looking in the village forests herself.

Stupid thing, of course. She was one person, the forests were enormous, and stealth had always been one of Naruto's strengths, considering his previous pastime as a prankster.

By the time day four rolled around, she was hearing rumors from Sasuke that Tsunade was actively sending out search parties of dedicated trackers. Aburame, Inuzuka and Hyuuga. He'd apparently been told by Hinata.

On day five, she was beginning to worry, sickeningly, if Naruto might ever come back.

She knew better than anyone that there was a _limit _to what he could take. That there was a point to which he could be pushed and had been pushed before in his life.

And whatever happened in that room seemed to have hit him harder than anything she'd seen before, even the revelation of the Kyuubi.

It was almost midnight. Almost six whole days before she saw him again.

He knocked on her door as lightly as he could. So light she could barely hear it, but she was a Kunoichi, and she'd hardly been getting any sleep these last few days as it was.

She heard him.

When she opened the door, her emotions were instantly at war with each other. Anger, worry, relief, all roiling in her stomach and vying for the forefront of her thoughts.

It was the look on his face that stopped her from saying anything.

He looked worn, hair matted down to his head, leaves and mud caking his clothes. The shirt and shorts were the same she'd seen him wearing in the hospital, torn in places and looking filthy.

It was the look in his gaze that stopped her cold, though, a forlorn sort of hollowness that darkened his normally bright blue eyes.

He swallowed, and his throat jumped as he rasped out his words, his voice sounding rough, cracking at times as he spoke.

"I'm sorry… I know it's late."

"It is," she said, for lack of anything better to say.

She felt like she was walking over a thinly frozen lake, the ice cracking under her feet with every word.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, eyes cast down towards her feet.

It was the first time she could ever remember him not looking her in the eye.

"I… I just don't have anywhere else to go."

She wasn't melodramatic enough to believe in things like hearts breaking, but… that came pretty damn close…

She stepped aside, opening the door.

He walked in, feet caked in mud, but she couldn't be mad at him.

"Stay here a sec, I'll get you some clothes so you can shower and change."

He nodded. The movement was stiff and he still wouldn't look at her. She hurried into her guest room. Lee and Neji had either crashed or changed here sometimes after long missions or training, so she should have some clothes that fit him. Lee was about the same size.

She rifled through the drawers, gathering everything she needed before walking back out.

He hadn't moved, and in the proper lighting of her home, she could see his eyes were red. She had to wonder if it was from lack of sleep or crying.

She wasn't sure which one was worse.

Tenten stepped closer. "Here ya go. Get yourself cleaned up and… we can talk when you're done… o-or tomorrow if you'd rather just get some sleep," she added hastily, unsure if it was okay to push him.

She must have said something right because he offered her a shaky, grateful smile, the look of despondency chased away if only for a second or two.

He made his way inside, and Tenten went to her kitchen, gathering up a mop and cleaning supplies to wipe away the mud and flecks of dirt.

She finished with her task long before he was done with his. She wasn't sure if he wanted to talk when he got out, or later. She wasn't sure if she should make tea, or if it'd be better to have something cold. She wasn't sure if he would just disappear again after this, strange as the thought was.

Right now, she wasn't sure about an awful lot.

She busied her restless hands with getting some clean sheets and pillows for the guest room, giving the floor one good sweep with the already wet mop and forcing her mind to stay occupied with what she was doing instead of her oldest friend going through some kind of crisis at the moment.

She'd long since finished by the time he got out of the shower. The heat was something she could almost feel all the way in the guest room.

"Tenten?" His voice was still low, unnaturally quiet for him.

"In here," she called.

She saw his shadow before she saw him, and when he walked into the guest room, the haggard husk of the man that had stood at her doorway looked, if not 'better,' at the very least cleaner and more refreshed.

He looked to the bed she'd made and a new emotion, guilt, colored his gaze.

"I'm sorry for all the tr-"

"It's fine, Naruto," she interrupted, stepping closer and, suddenly, reaching a decision. Because she realized that whatever this conversation was, _she _might not be wholly ready for it. Not now, not while she was still off balance. "Get some sleep. Alright?" She nodded, a reassurance to the both of them. "We'll talk about everything in the morning."

His head bowed, eyes shadowed under his hair before he nodded. "Thanks, Ten-chan."

She hesitated, then, in a moment of impetuousness, she reached forward and gave him a quick hug, feeling him stiffen at her touch. She pulled away before he could react, stepping out to the hall and towards her room.

She wanted to sleep, but she was a big enough girl to admit that a good chunk of her retreat was to hide for at least a little while longer.

She didn't sleep much that night anyway, mind whirling and rushing. She had little doubt that Naruto didn't get much sleep either. She knew him well enough to know he usually slept like a dead tree, not tossing and turning, which he certainly was judging by the sounds she could hear through the thin walls.

Morning came too fast and not fast enough at the same time.

She sat up and got off her bed when the sun's first rays turned the sky from black to dull gray, moving through her house, and flicking on the kitchen lights as she started to make tea.

She didn't think she could stomach a proper breakfast right now.

Soon enough, Naruto stepped out of the guest room, probably as anxious as she was, if not more so.

The kettle came to a boil as he took his seat, whistling shrilly before she took it off the flame and served them both some jasmine tea.

He took his thin cup without complaint, sitting across from her on one of two stools at the kitchen island.

Neither of them drank.

She nursed the thin glass in her hands, feeling the warmth seeping through it into her palms. Naruto just stared at the cup with an empty hollowness to his eyes.

The silence was thick and heavy, and finally, she couldn't take it anymore.

"Talk to me, whiskers." The name slipped out, the oldest nickname between them, when she was old enough to be 'clever' and he was still young enough to think of only 'buns' as a retort.

He took a deep, slow breath, releasing it just as slowly.

"I'm still trying to wrap my head around it," he admitted. "I… don't even know where the hell to start…"

"Just… tell me whatever Tsunade and Jiraiya told you," she hedged, unsure if she should bring the incident to the forefront of his mind. "We can… go from there?"

He didn't say anything, and for a moment she feared he wasn't going to speak at all before he gave a shaky, broken nod of his head.

So he told her.

His voice broke on occasion and sometimes he needed a second here at there to swallow down the tears he was clearly fighting against. But he told her.

He felt… she couldn't even begin to imagine.

Hurt, angry, betrayed, lost… maybe all of them.

For her part… if she had the strength, what she wanted to do right now was march up to Hiruzen and his students (Orochimaru too, because fuck him) and _hurt them_.

This was wrong. Every bit of it, from top to bottom.

He deserved better than this… better than _them_. He'd sooner cut his own hand off than willfully hurt them and each of them had… they'd kept this from him? For how long? How long had each of them known?

And Kushina… that was a whole different bag of snakes that she couldn't even begin to grasp the _concept _of.

Tsunade had explained some mental disease to Naruto that affected women after they gave birth but that sounded like a whole lot of convenient bullshit to her.

What the hell kind of mother tried to… do _**that** _to their kid?

But then, on the other hand, she remembered that Kushina had been out hunting Akatsuki members. Akatsuki members that were trying to kill Naruto. And doing it alone.

Her protests at the thought of Naruto fighting the Akatsuki also came to mind. And made a hell of a lot more sense right now

She was having trouble reconciling the deranged, crazed mother that tried to hurt her kid in a rage that she held in her mind with the sombre, almost soft spoken woman standing in Sasuke's living room just a month ago.

Halfway through her mental debate, she recognized that, right now _her _conflicted feelings on this whole thing were a distant secondary issue. It wasn't her parent, it wasn't her trust betrayed. She could have an internal debate _later_.

She looked to Naruto.

"Have you… have you spoken to her? _Will_ you speak with her?"

He shook his head. "I… just wanted to be alone for a little while. Get away from _everyone_ , try and think," he smiled at her, though there was little humor in it. "Don't think I'm too good at it, though. Hasn't helped any." He sniffed. "Still feel as shit today as I did walking out of that hospital."

"You hate being alone," she blurted, looking at her now cold tea.

It was true. If it was one thing Naruto hated above everything else, it was being alone.

"Hated the feeling that I couldn't look anyone in the eye even more," he answered. "Jiji, Baa-chan, Ero-sennin… they all just… They were _**lying **_to me, Tenten. My whole life, all of them, it just…"

He stopped, and she could see his face tighten as he visibly struggled to keep the tears from spilling out of his eyes. His throat jumped, and the tendons in his neck stood out as he looked away from her.

"Wh-what do I even **_do _**with a mom, Tenten? I mean… I'm already-" The choked sob that broke his speech was as close to outright crying as she'd ever seen him in her whole life and it was almost enough to make her cry in his place.

She reached out and gripped his hand.

"I… I don't know," she admitted. And it felt so… inadequate she almost apologized outright for its insufficiency. "I know I'm always the one bossing you around, telling you what to do, but… I don't know what to say here." She took a breath. "But… look. What Tsunade, Jiraiya, and Hiruzen did, what Kushina did… I'm not gonna tell you to forgive or be angry or whatever, Naruto. You're a big boy. You'll figure it out and you'll do what you're at peace with. But whatever it is, I'm right behind ya. Me, Lee, Shino, Sasuke, and Sakura. If you don't think you can trust them anymore, you can trust us. Ok?

"I think Sakura may have known…" he protested, and she wanted to scream in frustration, remembering Sakura's dodging and evasive nature beforehand.

"Then if you can't trust her or any of the others, then fuck them too!" she burst out. "You can trust me." She forced a smile onto her face. "I will cut a bitch if I have to. Alright?"

Her words made him laugh, and it was a sound that brought the most tangible sense of relief rushing through her chest like ice cold water.

He would be all right. Whatever happened, he would figure it out, and if he needed her help to do it, she'd help him.

He was her oldest friend.

And he was going to be just fine if she had any say in it.

(X)(X)(X)

Fun-fact. This whole chapter was going to be someone else. But then Tenten's scene with Sakura happened a few chapters ago and I had to give her a bigger role, so this was born.

:)

The next chapter is the last one and its gonna be... big. Perhaps not in the "word count" sense (though it'll prob be the longest chapter in the fic so far) but also big in the sense of how difficult it'll be to write. I want to do something like this right and it's going to take time. So I'm not gonna promise "It'll be out by X date" It's out when it's ready, no sooner and I hope I do the ending justice.

Hope you enjoyed, read and review :)


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 10:**

"Are you sure?"

"You've got a mission."

"That's not what I asked!"

Her words made him smile.

"I'll be all right, Ten-chan."

She eyed him warily, like she didn't quite believe him. He hoped she didn't press too much.

He was still trying to believe himself, after all.

"Wait here," she finally said, ducking back into her house.

He waited at her door, turning to look out at the village. The sun just cresting over the mountains, rapidly chasing away the pale grey of the early morning.

He took a breath, trying to steady what nerve he had before he heard her footsteps draw closer again. He turned back to her door only for something to be shoved into his chest.

"Take it," she said firmly as he fumbled for whatever she was giving him.

He finally got a look at it.

"I might not be back by tonight. So there's the spare key."

Chocolate brown orbs looked up into his with a stern anger that made him smile.

"If you go off to the forest for another week I swear I'm gonna find you and kill you."

She plucked the key out of his hand and stuffed it into his top pocket.

His fingers closed, he felt his eyes sting as he swallowed, looking down at her stern glare as he smiled and offered a nod.

She didn't say anything. He didn't give her the chance to. With a burst of chakra he retreated from her, his body vanishing in a cloud of smoke as he reappeared nearly a city block away. If he stayed any longer he might lose his nerve entirely.

He stood in the middle of the street for a moment. In the early morning hours, the village was still asleep, a fact he was thankful for.

His hand pressed against his upper pocket, feeling the thin metal of the key under his fingers through the cloth.

He lingered where he stood, wondering if he was really… okay. If he could, in fact, do this.

He was always one to go in headfirst. Tackle the problem, face the bad guy. No problem.

But right now… right now he was terrified.

He stayed still a moment longer.

With a breath, he placed one foot in front of him, then another, and another, marching forward.

(X)(X)(X)

He stood at one of the bridges that overlooked the canal. The waters lapped at the stones below, green with moss and algae.

He remembered swimming in the canal back when he was a kid. Hiruzen had stopped him after a while. Said the water wasn't safe to swim in, that he could get sick.

He swam in there three more times before the old man gave standing orders to the Anbu and Chuunin of the village to fish him out whenever they caught him.

He remembered being mad at him for that. He didn't talk to the old Hokage for nearly a week.

His perspective now made that seem stupid… small.

He leaned on the railing. One hand pressing against the wood as the other pressed against his breast pocket, feeling the key again as the sun just climbed over the edge of the monument, a crown of light over the four stone etched Hokage.

"Hey, kid."

She didn't sound like herself. That was the first thought that came to him.

She sounded meek, sad. Maybe even a little scared.

"Hey Tsunade."

Her name tasted strange on his tongue. He never really used it. She was always Baa-chan to him.

He didn't feel like he could call her that right now though.

He didn't look up from the lapping waters, but he felt her shift where she stood, hesitating before marching closer.

"I expected you'd want to meet. Didn't think it'd be here though." She commented.

"Your office is too crowded. People keep walking in and out," he explained, still not looking her way. "And I need… a few minutes. Do you think I can have that?"

She shifted her weight, taking a slow deep breath through her nose. "Of course you can. We're still the same people you've known for years, Naruto."

He scoffed a bitter laugh that tasted like acid at the back of his throat. "That's… not so reassuring, right now."

He could feel her wince.

 _Good_ , was his immediate reaction. Then felt ashamed at the wayward thought. He took a breath, trying to release the bitter feelings coiling tightly in his chest and seeping into his blood like a black poison.

"How long?" he asked.

"Depends what you're asking," she answered quickly, easilly. Crossing her arms she continued. "How long have I known she was alive, or how long have I known the specifics of your… situation?"

"Both?" He shrugged.

"I never heard of Kushina dying," she answered. "So I always assumed she was alive. Her name is known. So her death would have caused ripples. But as for you… well…"

She trailed off, then shrugged. "I thought she was with you, frankly. She'd gone so low key… I figured motherhood agreed with her and she was semi-retired. When you showed up to go get me with Jiraiya-"

"That's when you found out," he concluded. "So four years."

"I didn't know the situation," she said. "So I said nothing. It wasn't till I got my hands on the medical records and the Kage files that I got the full story. All Jiraiya would tell me is to never mention Kushina." She shrugged "So if you wanna get technical about it, I found out a month after I took the job, give or take a week."

"And you… what? Decided to jump on the bandwagon with everyone else around here? Just like that?" As hard as he tried, he could not keep the bitterness from his tone and the wood of the bridge railings creaked and groaned beneath his grip; fingers clutching tightly as he took deep breaths to steady himself.

"None of this," She hissed, voice low with a note of anger underneath it.- "-absolutely none of this has been easy for anyone, Naruto. Don't think we kept this secret with a smile on our face."

"You've been smiling at me easily enough!"

He felt her approach, long before her fingers gripped his shoulder, pulling him away from the railing to face her completely.

"You wanna know the truth?" she snarled, chocolate brown orbs glinting with fury. "Yeah. Keeping you in the dark was easier."

The words cut into him like a knife and he felt the air leave his lungs in a rush before he yanked his arm out of her grip, she let him go, glaring with a hot anger in her brown eyes.

"Smiling and pretending was _easier_ because none of us, not a single one, wanted to _hurt you_. Look at you, Naruto!" She gestured over him. "When was the last time you ate? When was the last time you slept? You're a complete mess right now."

"Sorry If I didn't just take it all in stride like usual." He protested.

"If I, if any of us didn't give a shit, this would be easy. We wouldn't care."

"None of you had the right," he snapped, now clutching at the anger he could feel smoldering in his chest. He wanted to be angry.

Because anger was easier than the alternative.

"Maybe not." She shrugged, meeting his eyes with her steely gaze filled with a grim resolve. "Maybe we completely fucked up. Maybe we made everything infinitely worse. Maybe every single decision we made was the wrong one. But we're trying to make things right, and who knows. Maybe we fucked that up too. Maybe you were happier with the way things were. In not knowing. But don't mistake screw ups for not giving a shit, because I know every single person who has been lying to you, none of them, absolutely none of them did it out of active malice. It may not excuse it, but take that for what it's worth."

"And what the hell am I supposed to do with that!" he snapped, feeling the tears stinging the back of his eyes. "What am I supposed to do with all of this!"

The angry, stern look on her face crumbled away, revealing something softer, the hard edges of the lines of the Hokage's face melting away to allow Tsunade through again.

"I don't know," she answered. "It's a shit answer. It's not what you want to hear, but I can't tell you what to do here, kid. There's a lot of baggage that you have to work through, that you need to choose how to approach. Which is a chance I think you deserved."

The sun was rising fully now, and the first sounds of the village hustle and bustle were beginning to reach their ears.

She noticed too.

"I have to go. There are still a lot of repairs and logistical issues to deal with, from the attack. Find me at the end of the day if you still want to talk." she said.

She looked at him, the softness of her eyes still there before she leaned forward, offering a soft kiss to his whiskered cheek. "For what little it may be worth right now, I am truly sorry, for everything."

She pulled away, not waiting for his response, or looking for his reaction.

Perhaps for her benefit as much as his own, their time was up.

He stayed at the bridge for a time, listening to the water below and the waking village in front of him.

Barely ten minutes and he wanted to head back home.

He sighed.

Don't give up.

That's what he always preached right?

Don't give up.

(X)(X)(X)

He didn't find Jiraiya in the hot springs, where he was typically wont to be.

Nor did he find him in the sake house, his second choice of haunts.

No, he sensed the Toad Sannin to the western side of the village, near the Uchiha compound, and found him at the lake that dominated the village's western walls, lying down on the small pier, little more than a half bridge hanging over the water.

The man was taking a page from the Nara family, passing the day gazing up at the clouds.

Naruto stepped close, and though his footsteps were light and quiet, Jiraiya didn't even need to look as he spoke his greeting.

"Hey, kid."

Just like Tsunade, he didn't sound like himself. An undercurrent of melancholy tinged his voice.

But unlike Tsunade, who exhumed an air of worry, even perhaps a feeling of dread, Jiraiya seemed almost… resigned to however this conversation would turn out.

The old man grunted, stretched once, and slowly rolled off his back and onto his feet.

Standing at his full height, his sensei stuffed his hands into the pockets of his red vest, looking at him like a man awaiting a death sentence and being perfectly fine with it.

The silence between them stretched on for a moment. Jiraiya looked him up and down.

"You look like hell," the Sannin surmised.

Naruto's scowl was immediate. "Yeah, thanks for that."

The older man shrugged. "Wanna take a swing at me? You have that right, after everything."

He did. He really, really did.

And he wasn't one to resist his instincts much.

His swing came from home field. Pulled all the way back with his full weight thrown behind it.

He nearly pitched forward, catching his footing at the last moment as his fist cracked against Jiraiya's jaw.

The Sannin stumbled, seemed to catch himself, stumbled again and then fell to one knee, blood pouring from his open mouth.

He groaned, laughing after a second. "Oh yeah… this is familiar." He rubbed at the impact sight, cradling a rapidly bruising jawline. "She hit me just like that when she saw me again too."

Naruto whipped his open hand across the air, trying to relieve the pain.

He'd really hit the Sannin hard, and the man apparently had a jaw made of raw iron.

"Somehow I don't feel so bad," he hissed in answer.

The kneeling Sannin gurgled out another laugh, spitting out a wad of blood onto the wooden boardwalk.

"Yeah." He nodded. "I'm glad you've got that clear."

The Kyuubi Jinchuuriki felt his nose scrunch up in confusion. "Got what clear?"

"That if there's anyone you should be mad at-" Jiraiya grunted, reaching his feet as he wiped at his split lip with the back of his hand. "It's me, I fucked up. More than anyone else, and a lot of people I said I cared about suffered because of those fuckups."

"That simple, then?" Naruto scoffed, crossing his arms with a glare. "You're the bad guy and she's not responsible for anything? What about the old man?"

Jiraiya looked at him with a forlorn sort of sorrow, the lines of his face growing deeper and more pronounced, as though he was aging right in front of him.

"Don't you get it, kid?" he asked. "I _wasn't there_. Not for any of it. Minato trusted me to take care of you and her if something happened to him. She was counting on me to help if something ever happened to Minato. Even the old man probably wouldn't have done what he did if he knew I wasn't gonna come back. I wasn't there!"

"You're just trying to absolve everyone, put a bad guy in front of it and make things _simple_. I'm not an idiot! So stop trying to treat me like one," Naruto challenged. It sounded paranoid even as he said it and perhaps even a little unfair to the Sannin he'd grown to know…

But then again. How much did he really know him? He certainly never would have suspected Jiraiya would have ever lied to him as consistently and egregiously as he and everyone else apparently had been.

"I'm not trying to treat you like one." The Toad Sannin shook his head, imploring him to _understand_. "But it is that simple. Sure, we can all share some of the blame, but if you really want to lay everything you've been through somewhere, all the wasted time and years, you don't have to look further than this guy right here, kid. I _gave up,_ Naruto. I gave up on myself, everything and everyone. I wasn't running a spy network for thirteen years, I was running the hell away when I should have done what I promised to do. It is that simple."

The older man stepped forward, looming over Naruto with that uncommon height of his before he raised his hands, visibly hesitating for a moment before placing them on his shoulders.

Naruto didn't resist the touch.

"I know that this hurt you. More than anything else. I know that there's a part of you that ran into that forest and thought long and hard about coming back here."

Naruto felt his eyes sting, but he refused to cry even as the weight of Jiraiya's hands alone nearly made that resolve crumble as soon as it formed.

"I do understand. You have every right to be angry. At everyone and everything, too. But don't repeat my mistake. Don't _compound_ our collective failure. Be angry for as long as you want, as long as you need to but don't… don't hate, her for it kid. Her or Tsunade. Her hands were tied before she ever walked into the village. Don't hate them. Because that'll be the same as giving up. And you can't give up. If you have to hate someone, hate me. You have that right and I won't ever begrudge you for it if you do. But… take this chance. This can be a fresh start for you and for her, but only if you don't give up now."

"It's not that simple," he protested.

"Things that are worth it never are."

"What the hell am I even supposed to do here!" Naruto shouted up at the man. "Seventeen years! People don't just… pick things up after seventeen years! I don't even know anything about her. I don't-"

He stopped, Jiraiya's hand falling over his head as the closest thing Naruto ever had to a father lowered himself to stand at eye level with him, unperturbed by his shouting, or his anger.

"I know you're scared. I know you're frustrated and you can barely even look at the people you thought you could trust." The man nodded, his whole demeanor filled with a patience seldom seen in the normally loud and boisterous Sannin. "No one is asking you to be a son over-night. I don't think anyone would expect that, or even believe it if you tried to fake it. No one is asking you not to be afraid. Or to figure everything out by lunch tomorrow. All I, all anyone can ask of you is that you take it one day at a time, kid. But if you never want to believe another word I say, believe this. It may not work out, but if you don't even try, you'll regret it forever. And I think you know that. This is a chance you deserved to have."

(X)(X)(X)

His ramen was cold.

He'd arrived, he'd ordered it, and had barely taken a single bite of it.

So now it sat in front of him, little more than cold sludge.

He was grateful for his own foresight to have not gone to Ichiraku.

He didn't think he could take the questions, or the worried looks right now.

His conversations with Tsunade, and more recently, Jiraiya, bounced around his skull endlessly, their words blurring together, adding to his turmoil and confusion, rather than relieving it.

One thing Jiraiya had said though was that he'd thought long and hard about coming back.

He was right.

And a part of him was ashamed of it then, and a part of him was ashamed right now as he sat in this ramen stand, staring at cold broth.

Konoha's Jinchuuriki took a deep, slow breath, hand rising to press against the key still held in his top pocket.

He shoved the bowl away, leaving enough money on the table to cover the uneaten bowl before making his way outside.

The sun was high now, with the villagers moving about as the midday rush started to reach its peak.

The streets felt too crowded, too shut in and tight. He never remembered being this claustrophobic around people before, ever. He wasn't sure if it was the years spent training with long intervals of isolation or the latest… developments but he found, quickly, that he needed to get away from the noise, needed to get away from the movement and the people.

He took to the rooftops, breathing a sigh of relief as the sun hit him full in the face and the breeze overhead brushed across his hair.

His relief was short lived as his eyes found the monument.

Three of the five Hokage burned into his thoughts with that same, gnawing feeling of betrayal welling up in his gut.

Perhaps that was unfair to the Yondaime, but…

Fuck being fair right now.

Before his thoughts could spiral downward into the wallowing mire as it'd been doing for quite a while now, he felt a harsh tap on his shoulder.

"Oi, idiot."

Naruto turned, and he allowed a smile come to his face, something not entirely forced or fake.

"Hey Sasuke. How's the new house treatin ya?"

"The plumbing sucks. My walls sound like they're screaming when the upstairs neighbors take a shower." The Uchiha deadpanned before turning, jerking his head to the side. "Come on. I need to burn some energy before tonight's shift."

"Ehh." Naruto grimaced. "I'm… really kinda busy today. I don-Ack!"

Before he could finish the thought Sasuke grabbed him by the scruff of his jacket and teleported them both to his chosen training grounds.

The blonde's features scrunched up, batting his long time friend's grip aside. "Oi! The hell's the big idea!"

Sasuke shrugged. "Didn't wanna waste another hour looking for someone."

"I already said no!"

"Like I give a damn."

Naruto's face and voice were utterly flat. "Thing is… I know you're trying to piss me off so you get what you want by me just wanting to kick your ass."

The dark haired Jounin smirked with a shrug. "As long as it works."

"You're an ass."

"I'll start caring shortly."

Reaching to a scroll in his vest Naruto unfurled it to reveal a gleaming, sharp spear. "Alright! Get ready to get your cheaty-bullshit-eye-using ass kicked."

"It's called the Sharingan, idiot."

"That's what I just said," he answered cheekily, taking his stance.

"You think you're funny."

Their fight was fast, and if one were to see it, they'd be hard pressed to say that the two of them were just Jounin, never mind that one of them was still, strictly speaking, a genin.

It dragged on for minutes. To Naruto's surprise, Sasuke limited himself to Tai and Kenjutsu, no illusions or ninjutsu at all.

As Sasuke's kunai deflected a spear thrust and stepped into Naruto's guard the blond stepped forward to meet him, shoulder checking the Uchiha before brute forcing him back the way he came with a hard shove, and turning the spear to smack him with the counterweight, a blow which was caught by Sasuke's armored forearm, but not without, again, forcing the clan heir back even further, widening the distance.

"Why a spear?" Sasuke asked, pacing a little in front of the pointed tip, no doubt trying to measure how he could close the distance again.

Naruto let him, truth be told, it was always fun watching people try to think up ways to mitigate the reach advantage. They usually failed spectacularly.

"Ji-The old man uses Enma, the Monkey King as a staff summon, the spear is kind of similar in its fundamentals, only it has a business end."

"You would go for something just because it has a sharp attachment."

"Actually, when we were practicing the Guan Dao was my favorite. Too heavy for our fights though. So I do have some criteria beyond 'Pointy end can go into the other man'"

".I'm surprised."

"What, that the Guan Dao was too heavy?"

"That you know what criteria means."

The voice came from behind him and Naruto was forced to rush forward, shoving the pommel of the spear back behind him as Sasuke dodged, spinning red eyes languidly following the weapon's movement."

The Jinchuuriki frowned. "Cheaty-bullshit-eye-using-ass. I thought that we weren't using chakra."

The Jounin shrugged. "Don't blame me for your stupid assumptions."

Despite himself, the blonde grinned, feeling the energy surge through the Tenketsu of his arms and hands. This was starting to get fun.

As the fight ebbed and flowed, taking longer still, Naruto almost lost himself in the deadly dance of strikes, footwork and balance. The problems of his life bled away if only for a moment, allowing him to exist in this instant of whistling steel and tactics as the village and all of his troubles within it ceased to be.

Before he knew it, it was over.

Sasuke was breathing heavily through his nose, and despite his legendary stamina, Naruto found himself a little winded as well, arms shaking with the fading adrenaline, fingers twitching over the haft of his spear.

He found himself grinning, and saw Sasuke nod.

"Feel better?"

The blonde blinked. "Huh?"

For the first time in… ever really, Sasuke looked… embarrassed?

"I found out, Naruto," he said. "When I saw you on the roof, you looked like you needed to get your mind off of things for a while." He shrugged. "So here we are."

Naruto found his brain trying to click back into place.

"But… like. You have a training ground reserved."

"It's one of the Uchiha private grounds, and most of the clan knows it's my favorite, so hardly anyone comes here without asking." He shrugged again.

Naruto's mouth opened and closed several times, struggling to find words before he sighed. "Who told you?"

"No one," Sasuke answered flatly. "I'm the village's foremost Genjutsu master, and one of the top stealth experts as well. Getting into places and reading files is kind of a thing I do."

"You could get in trouble."

"I probably will if Tsunade finds out. But I was curious, and this seemed important enough to warrant it."

"I… thanks?" He wasn't sure if thanks were warranted since he wasn't entirely sure if the "important" part was Sasuke's curiosity or Naruto himself.

"Considering it took me a few days to even start wrapping my head around it, I can imagine you're still coming to grips with the situation too."

Naruto sighed.

And nodded.

"It's been… an interesting few days," he admitted haltingly.

There was a silence between the two.

Then, finally, Naruto broke it.

"What's she like?"

He didn't need to specify.

"... Sad," Sasuke quietly admitted. "For the longest time she always seemed sad. I don't think I've ever seen her smile beyond what was necessary to seem polite more than a few times." He shrugged. "Guess I understand why now."

Naruto's smile was a bitter thing.

"She sucks at cooking." The Uchiha smirked at a memory. "She could burn cereal if you left her around the kitchen too long. Except soups. She's good at those. She enjoys riddles and word games."

Finally, the Uchiha took a deep breath and sighed. "I can't… picture it. For the life of me I can't picture the Kushina I know, doing what the reports say. Not in a million years.

Naruto's smile was small. "A part of me wants to be angry at you, ya know?"

"For having her as an aunt?"

"It's stupid," the blonde admitted. "I'll get over it eventually. I just… I can't help but resent the fact that you did have your mom and mine. Not really fair."

"It isn't." Sasuke shrugged simply. "Nothing I, or anyone can do about that now. Only thing that's left to answer is what exactly you are gonna do. Everything from here on out is in your hands."

"It's just…" He struggled to find the words. "I want to know why? Ya know?"

"Tsunade's notes on Postpartum Depression were very exten-"

"No. Not why she did what she did. Why for everything _after_. It was _years_ , Sasuke. And not just from her, from everyone."

"You could always ask."

"So far no one's given me any kind of satisfying answer." He tried not to growl, he really did. "And if they do… I'm kinda scared I won't like the answer."

"You ain't happy without the answers, likeable, satisfying or otherwise."

Naruto took a breath, letting the silence linger for a while, hand unconsciously rising to press against the key.

"Guess it really is that simple then."

With an unfurled scroll and a puff of smoke the spear was sealed again.

"Thanks, Sasuke."

He started to walk back towards the village.

"For what it's worth," his longtime friend called behind him, "I do believe the two of you can help each other. And that you both deserve that."

The blond's steps halted for a moment, hesitating before he resumed.

Then… a thought.

"Hey." He turned, curiosity in his eyes. "Is it true that Mikoto-san and Kushina are-"

"Shut up."

The words died on his lips, but the curiosity shone behind his eyes as the cogs of his mind kept turning.

"Wait. Does that mean that you and I are-"

"Utter one more word, and no medic or sealed demon alive will be able to fix what I do to you."

(X)(X)(X)

His knuckles rapped over the door with a confidence that sounded more firm than it truly was. The buoyancy from his talk with Sasuke kept his mind a little more detached than it was before, a little more distant from the mire.

The door opened.

Kakashi stared back at him with an unreadable look, a pregnant silence hovering between the two before Kakashi stepped aside, wordlessly allowing him in.

Naruto entered.

His longest-standing Sensei's home was rather clean, or better to say, there weren't a lot of things that could be used to make a mess. Even by his rather low standards, the place seemed spartan. There were a couch, two seats, an empty coffee table, beyond that the kitchen and what he assumed was a door leading to Kakashi's room.

Kakashi quietly closed the door behind him, marching past him and into the kitchen.

Naruto stood at the entrance, slightly worried by his sensei's silence before he saw the man grab a tea kettle, filling it with fresh water.

"You're not one for tea, I know," Kakashi finally said. "But I figure it'd be better to have something to drink for this."

Naruto nodded, marching to one of the seats before settling himself down into it and waiting.

The water took too long to boil, and simultaneously not long enough, with Kakashi serving the both of them before Naruto felt he'd gathered what nerve he'd already seemingly lost.

"I take it you have a lot of questions."

"Would you believe me if I said 'Not really'?"

Kakashi raised an eyebrow, turning towards clear surprise on his masked face.

"I've already asked my questions… most of them, anyway." Naruto shrugged, looking down into his steaming tea cup. "I asked when they told me, I asked earlier today. I'll probably ask some more when I think of some. But right now I want to get the other side."

"Other side?"

"Your side of things."

"Didn't realize I had a _side_ Naruto."

"Seems like you did." Naruto blinked curiously. "Out of everyone, apparently you didn't want to tell me. Why?"

The copy nin took a deep, slow breath leaning back in his seat, almost sagging into it. "Ahh."

Naruto looked at the man demanding _more_ than that simplistic sigh.

"The truth isn't pleasant, Naruto," his sensei warned.

"Name one part of this that's been _pleasant_ ," the blonde challenged.

The copy nin stared at him, his jaw visibly working beneath his mask.

"I don't know what they told you-" he finally began. "-How they sugar coated things. But you're better off alone than interacting with Kushina. She's reckless, dangerous; and even at your age the damage she'll cause is something I'd rather not think about."

"You think she'll attack me?"

"The emotional damage she'll do to you is far worse." Kakashi said, leaning forward in his seat. "How many nights did you stay awake dreaming of having a mom and a dad Naruto? How many little fantasies and idealistic ideas did you hatch in your head?"

"Too many to count." The blonde admitted.

"She'll fall short. By miles. Even if I'm completely wrong and she does her very best, she won't live up to that dream you had. You can count on that."

"Why are you so sure? Jiraiya seems to think different-"

"Jiraiya is stuck in some romanticized version he's got in his head," the older man all but growled. "He wasn't here. He didn't see it, and he didn't ever confront it. He may _think_ he's doing this to help you, but it's honestly to help his own guilt."

A silence fell between the two of them, and for a long time Naruto looked at his sensei, a strange foreign sort of calculation in them.

"So you didn't want to tell me because you think I'd be happier if I never knew?"

The copy nin nodded. "Your mother died a long time ago. Best she stay that way."

"I know now, though," Naruto protested, shrugging his shoulders.

"Then forget it," the man answered simply, and though he was staring right at him Naruto could see the man's single visible eye wasn't focused precisely on him. "You deserve to forget."

(X)(X)(X)

Where had the day gone?

The thought came to him as he noted the fiery red of the clouds.

Somewhere, time had burned away and the day, which seemed to last a small window of eternity as he spoke to each of these people he'd trusted, had all but vanished.

A part of him wanted to take the excuse, to take the key still in his pocket and return. To take time to rest, wrap his head around everything.

Another part of him knew he shouldn't… couldn't.

There was one other person he needed to speak to. One other person he needed to confront, or he'd lose his nerve entirely.

The one person he trusted the most. Who he believed in for the longest time.

"Uzumaki-san."

The maid entered the room, bowing once low at the waist.

"He will see you."

Konoha's Jinchuuriki nodded, unable to speak with the apple suddenly lodged in his throat, seeing the fiery light of the setting sun cast the hallways into splashes of orange and long shadows.

They walked through the winding halls.

Finally, he was there, The Sandaime Hokage sat peacefully in a room, a ready tea set resting in front of him. Dressed in robes of white.

He looked...older… thinner. And it was suddenly hard to reconcile this man as the same one he'd looked up to for so long, loved, trusted and now resented and felt betrayed by.

All at once he was these things… and yet, a complete stranger…

The maid at his side bowed respectfully and walked away without a word, leaving both of them in privacy.

Hiruzen Sarutobi nodded.

"I believe you deserve some answers, my boy."

Naruto nodded back.

"Yeah…" He breathed. "You can say that."

He reached behind him and closed the door.

(X)(X)(X)

Kushina wanted to leave.

There were few things that could evoke this kind of feeling in the S class Kunoichi, but for the last two days that had been the most pervasive feeling running across her mind.

They'd told him.

They'd told him and because it could harm her 'recovery' Tsunade hadn't told her until two goddamn days ago after the poison had been fully purged from her system and she was on the mend during her convalescence.

Her reaction had been everything from panic to horror to anger, all of which near smothered a fluttering, barely tangible sense of relief.

Finally her emotions after hours of turmoil had settled on the desire to do nothing more than leave the village. Leave and come back maybe three days after never.

She hadn't been cleared to leave the hospital, courtesy of Tsunade she suspected, the guards at her door were also from the Hokage's… attentive services.

But the excuses were up, she was fully mobile again, her vitals were strong, and the toxicology reports were all clear.

She could leave. And she was going to.

She looked out the window, the morning sun's rays turning the night sky into greys and soft purples.

She was a big enough girl to admit that it was cowardly, that she was running away, from her own son no less. More specifically, from his judgement of her. But-

The door behind her opened.

"Don't pull out another excuse to try and keep me here, Tsunade, I'm-"

"I'm not Tsunade."

His voice stopped her cold.

Kushina felt as though her heart fell into ice water, her fingers tingled as every muscle in her body froze in a palpable, abject terror.

For a long, interminable moment, she remained perfectly still, too afraid to even look to the door before she finally mustered up her courage and forced her feet to turn her body to the entrance.

Naruto stood at the doorway, blue eyes looking to a spot by her feet, his right fist clenching and unclenching as he fidgeted where he stood.

A muscle in his jaw worked , twitching as he kept his eyes averted.

"Am I keeping you from something?" he asked. "I can come back later if you're-"

"No!" She nearly shouted before catching herself, lowering her voice to a more reasonable level. "No. No I…"

She trailed off, unsure of how to continue, leaving the both of them in a painfully awkward, tense silence, with neither of them knowing what to say or how to continue.

Kushina took a deep breath, steeling her nerve.

If ever there would be a moment to act as a… mother. Something she had utterly failed at for the whole of his life. This was it.

"You should leave."

The words stabbed into her guts like a thousand rusted nails, tearing at her insides as she forced her choking throat to force out the words.

"You deserve a lot better than… than me, Naruto." She forced herself to look up, meeting his eyes as she forced herself to continue with a tremulous smile. "You've become… someone good, better than so many other people _in spite_ of me and my failures. So you should…" She swallowed. "-just forget about all of this…"

She fell into silence after that, and he was quiet too as she turned her eyes to the floor, losing her ability to look his way.

"Kakashi said the same thing," he finally breathed.

She looked up and saw his hand touching at his pocket.

"You know what's funny?" He let out a chuckle under his breath, the sound bitter and sad all at once. "Everyone's been real eager to tell me… all damn day, what it is I deserve." He sniffed, wiping at his eyes quickly before looking straight at her. "Not one person's bothered to think that I've earned the right to decide for myself what I deserve."

She felt the wind knocked out of her, felt her lower lip trembling as she tried in futility to hold back the tears that poured down her cheeks.

As Kushina felt the broken pieces of her heart crumbled into shards, Naruto finally stepped into the room.

The sun was rising over the village behind her.

Why couldn't she stop crying?

(X)(X)(X)

Well folks, here's the end, my thanks go to my Beta reader for his help, but this is the end of "Unfit".

I know that some people will be dissapointed in the conversation with Kushina not being significantly longer but honestly, this is a relationship that can't be resolved in a single conversation, no matter how detailed or long it is. As such, it was always going to be open ended. I hope you've all enjoyed. I can mark this one with the complete feather :)


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